A less good day

Hello I haven't got up today just felt v sad.
I saw my neuropsychiatrist for the first time. I had a brain haemorrhage when I was n young, back then, the only way to save me was to slice my head open like a melon and scoop out / tie the troublesome blood vessel.
Nowadays, she said, I would have had pin hole surgery or some sort of radiation treatment.
She said that they only had the technology available to them at the time so had to do that, and in doing so kind of wreaked a little bit of destruction in my brain, destroying a few bits and pieces in order to save me.
I know I should be grateful and I am, but I'm also sad for all that I've lost.
She has told me to do things in small chunks as some days I tire easily and to turn a negative into a positive.

What is bugging me atm, (apart from having lived to have my head scooped open) is I mailed the Spoon Theory to a friend who was around when at the time of my operation. She went on to have kids, a normal life and, guess what, I haven't heard from her. Previously (over about 3 months) I had mailed her a couple of times, just friendly chat, nothing heavy and left a message on her phone. I guess she couldn't handle it???
Thanks for your time, and any thoughts would be appreciated.

Do I bother send her a Christmas card?

so so sorry for ur sadness i often feel very sad an depressed but ur friend very hreat breaking to hear i also hade someone thats acted the same way idk if u sloud even send her anything but she might also be really really buzy 3 kids you say idk well i hope an pray for you to feel better xoxoxxotricia better days

Hi Flower,

I had a similar experience with a friend as well. When she decided to talk to me again (8 months later). She said it broke her heart to see my health go down hill and she didn't know how to handle it.
That was 3 years ago and I still don't see much of her. I learned to accept that, that's just how she is. Some people can handle it and some can't.

On the other hand. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt as well. It is possible that she's just been busy or she has something going on in her life that she has been dealing with. And that's where she's been focusing all of her time and energy at.

It's always tough when we lose track of a good friend. But, I feel we also have to give them the time they need and when it's proper time -- our paths will cross again. :)

Christmas card:/ Sure. Why not? I would. Christmas is a time of giving. :)


Sometimes the "normals" can't or don't want to hear about those of us with some problems in life, they would rather exist in their shiny bubble where everything is fine and it rains gumdrops and lollipops and there's no lemons, but there's plenty of lemonade. But that ain't the reality for a lot of other people. I don't want to tell you to stop being friends with her or have a big dramatic blowout, but maybe it's time to quietly move on and find another friend who will better appreciate you and can take that moment to politely respond as most civilized human beings could do.

And try not to dwell too much on how the cure potentially destroyed you, Everything is a circle of balance and it will all hopefully balance out in one way or another.


And yes, go ahead and send her a Christmas card, why not?

Flower, it is very sad that some people can't deal with us having brain damage because of our AVM surgery. Just know that we are here for you...we understand your feelings...Stay Strong and Stay Positive.

PS. I can't afford to mail Christmas cards being on disability. However, if it makes you feel better, mail one to her....