Ugly new side of me

http://myavmsurvival.blogspot.com/2012/04/ugly-new-side-of-me.html

Holly..It's been almost 6 years since my brain bleed and it seems like once a year I go through a period of anger. I can't wait until the day you tell me that your AVM Free! Please try to come to the luncheon in June....I would love to meet you in person! Stay Strong, Friend!

I'm there, too, Holly. As of July 28th, it will be 7 years since my surgery and I still go through rounds of anger, frustration and depression. My wife and I have gotten into numerous, lengthy conversations (arguments) in which I feel like a broken record. I tell her that she may think I am just whining and looking for pity, but I tell her that there is no way that she could even begin to understand what it is like unless she had been through it herself. She will often compare it to other things that she has experienced, and I'm sure you know, it just isn't the same... Apples to oranges.

It is very easy for the people around us to say things like, "You just need to focus on the positives..." or, "Why are you complaining? Could be worse... You could have cancer or something." Very frustrating. Even though the people that I know well are aware that I am now half blind, that my short-term memory is not so great, and that I am on numerous medications, they don't consider these things and just figure that since my AVM is "gone," the problems associated with it are also "gone."

An ugly side of you is completely understandable and I'd wager that just about every person on this site has one of them... And it's not by choice.

Louisa I'm waiting to hear back from my son on his sport schedule but I am hoping to be there, with him as he will be driving.

Thank both you and Jake for the "understanding", I needed to hear I am not alone even if we aren't in the same room. Much love.

Hi Holly - Just wanted to let you know that I have my ugly moments, as well...hopefully more pretty times than ugly =)

Thank Julie. I guess we are human right? I hope you are well. :)