Growing up with an AVM I always had my mum finding doctors and doing research and working her hardest to find the best for me. She organized my appointments and travelling and everything. Then I was suddenly on my own. After seeing my doctor in Montreal and then meeting with a new doc in Montreal I waited and waited to hear when my appointment was going to be. That never happened. Then last October when my thumb started to break down my mum suggested a new doc, Dr. Simons. So I organised and appointment, but I no longer had my mum with me helping me make decisions that seem so huge to me. I had to suddenly make all these big decisions on my own, I had to see the doctors on my own and I guess I had to grow up quickly.
Its really hard having a tonne of support and help and then suddenly being on your own. I took forgranted everything my mum did for me. Its hard work being a student, having to work and trying to deal with the physical and emotional impact my AVM has. Yes my mom still comes to my surgeries. Otherwise I would have no one to take me home. I just feel like where I once had a wall of support I now have nothing. Everything is my decision and its hard to deal with.
I guess this was a bit of a rant and I appologize for that, but I just wish I had someone to help me out with things. I guess thats just what growing up is.
Hi Heather. I think you are right that you had to grow up a little faster than most your age. I am quite a bit older than you. My life has always been a roller coaster ride. One thing for certain while the bad times seem to last forever…trust me they do not. Eventually things will improve. In the meantime please think of us as your extended AVM support system!
Hi Heather. I’m sure you are very overwhelmed at times with all these decisions. I think you should just ask your mom to go with you to all your appointments. A second set of ears to hear all the information is always a good idea and it would help you make a decision too. Maybe your mom is trying to give you freedom as an adult but if i was you, even at my age, I would want someone to go with me.
My mom just came with me to my last appoitment and I have 3 kids of my own!! LOL It is nice to have the help and support from your family and/or friends!
Sometimes moms have to let go to let their children become their own person. But I’m sure she is loving you every step of the way. She just wants to make sure you are making the decisions for yourself. But you are not alone…you have family, friends and those of us here at the survivor’s network are here to offer support as well. Hang in there.
Thank you all for all the comments!! I guess I was having a frustrating day when I posted that. I must say I am glad I got those feelings out. I think being able to rant or just vent a little is a good way to just feel better about things. I don’t know what has changed in the past two months but I know that no matter what if something does wrong I always have someone there for me, my mom or otherwise. My mindset has changed a lot from last year, I’m not really sure why but I seem more calm and ok with things. Maybe its because I know things usually work out ok even when it seems horrible at the time. I love the say “It will all be ok in the end. If its not ok, its not the end” It is great to stress less about things and I’m happy that I currently don’t have any big problems with my hand. I hope everyone is doing well!!
