I feel like no one understands

My brain AVM ruptured the summer before my senior year in high school...I had an initial emergency surgery then, and then two surgeries after that during my senior year. The last one removed my AVM for good. During that year, I hardly went out with friends and I got even more attached to my family. Now I am away at college, and am in my second semester...I have really been struggling and everyone just assumes that I'm just like any other freshman having difficulty adjusting, but that's just not it. It's more than that and I haven't really been able to explain it very well, I just have a lot of anxiety and I cry a lot and it just seems out of my control. It's been a long time since I remember being truly happy. I saw another post on here that made me feel a bit better and my mom actually is the one who found it, so now my parents are understanding it a bit better, but I am just not the same person that I used to be before all of my surgeries and I can't really explain it...I am just looking for some support and to see if anyone else has experienced similar feelings and can maybe offer some advice?

Hi Mikki...I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. I've felt that way while in the beginning years of my recovery from GammaKnife procedure. My friends knew what I had gone through, but did not want to understand or deal with what the recovery part was doing to me. A good number of them had stopped talking to me...and even though I am doing much better now, they still cannot stand the sight of me.
You've come to the right place, because you are definitely not alone here. If you ever want to talk, feel free to email me - ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

Hey I hand mine in 2011, my junior year of college, and I honestly rarely ever go out, and when I do I hate it. It’s hard, but things do eventually get better. I’m two years out and just starting to feel like things are getting back on track in my life. It’s OK, it sucks because no one understands. I also got really attached to my family-who wouldn’t, honestly? When I came back to school last year, I had a seizure, and my friends started acting kinda weird around me, and it was really lonely and sad, but then I made a ton of new friends who are more like me, and they’ve only known post-AVM-me, so it’s easier. It gets better, you just gotta keep hanging in there. Message me for anything :slight_smile:

Hi Nikki,

I'm twice your age but, Yea. I feel that way too. Be proud of yourself. You got through High School, despite your challenges and now you are in college. That's something to be proud of! It's very, very hard for people to understand what you are going through, unless they've been through it themselves. You may want to see your dr about the anxiety. He or she can prescribe you something. Trust me - it helps. I take Ativan for mine and it helps me a LOT. I also listen to new age music (nature sounds with music added) in my house and that calms me down too. Plus - it makes my home feel relaxing and calm. :)