so last time i was on here i was just very recently told that my avm was gone and i was wondering what my life would be like then. well in the past 3 months or so life has taken a turn for the better. i played water polo and the first week back in goal i was nervous and hesitant but once i got comfortable i became my own dominating aggressive self again and was able to earn honorable mention honors in sectionals. i stopped worrying about every stab of pain in my head and i noticed they became less frequent. i finished up the last few months of school taking all my finals and my calc ap test. i found my roommate for college next year and get along great with her. i went to prom and danced the night away with friends and stayed out all night. and that brings us to today when i graduated with highest honors from high school. i cried several times during the ceremony and it was mostly thinking about where i have been and what has made me who i am today and i feel the avm had a major part in shaping me/ i feel like i have so much maturity than most of my peers and i dont worry about every little detail anymore because in the grand scheme of things it really doesnt matter. i kept thinking what my life would have been like if the avm hadnt been found or if it had bled how my life would have been different. there is no way to know and i think id rather not know. i am so grateful for many seemingly small decisions made ostly by myself my mom and my sisters neurologist that lead to the discovery of my avm.
on my last day of high school i made sure i said thank you to all the people who really helped me through that difficult time of diagnosis and surgery last year and have continued to support me becasue without them i would not have made it through with my head held high like it is today. i have become slightly more comfortable with it although it is still something i save for only my closest friends to know. i plan on telling my roommate about it because i think it is something she should know but beyond that im not sure who i will tell. it is certainly a major part of who i am now and i still carry the memory of it with me.
im not sure of what i was trying to get at with this note but i just want to say thank you to everyone of you that has shown even an ounce of support to me. it has meant so much to me especially when even my own mom said the excruciating pain in my head was nothing and i couldnt see the light on the other side of the tunnel.
i have wanted to come on here for quite sometime but even though i was feeling confident with myself i didnt know if i could show the same support to all of you that you have shown me but i am going to do my damned best. the path ahead of me is nothing but bright and i want to share some of that with you. even though it will probably be difficult and i did not go through nearly as much as most of you have with this avm i am going to do my best to support you guys through your ongoing stuggle too, the way you guys helped me.
jess