So summer is almost over which is depressing because i love the warm weather. summer school has been busy but im glad i got thoes class’s out of the way. but the reason for this blog is to vent. latley i have felt so depressed, but i dont tell anyone and just keep it inside because i dont want to have a pitty party for myself. I just feel like i will never get anything out of life that i want. I try to think about the good and think that everything happens for a reason, but what the hell is that reason. sorry for swearing, i dont mean to offend anyone. every one thinks im doing good and i even lie and say i am, but im really not. I want so badly to have another baby, it kills me inside. but i dont even know if i can or if the same thing will happen again, and that scares me.
The whole reason for going to the genetics counslors was to see if it would happen again i have not yet gotten any answers. not for them to dick me around and make me wait 5 months for a stuiped test that i have not yet gotten answers from.
Also latley it seems like everyone i know including some of my friends are getting pregnant. which makes me depressed even more, because i guess you would say that im jelouse of them. It sucks!!
so yeah sorry for the long blog and thank you for taking the time to read it if you are!!
Kaleen,
Welcome, and thank you for sharing. I’m sorry to hear about your daughter. You have many reasons to be depressed. And I am glad that you have found a place where you can vent you frustration and anger. Don’t be afraid to do that here there are plunty of us who are here to lift you up, say a prayer for you, and some to just listen. I hope you find us worm harted.
Don’t be afraid of offending anyone here, everyone I’ve met here is very easy going. I was afraid at first when I started sharing my faith with people, but haven’t had any complainers yet. I’m always on here praying for everyone. As I will be for you to.
Life is hard enough with out having to go through all of this, I can’t begin to understand what you’ve gone through with your child, but I know how I’d be if I had to go through that with mine. I find my successful way, (not always practiced) of fighting with depression is through prayer and biblestudy. I pray you will finde good news with your test. I’ve begun to wonder about HHT, and begun looking it up online, aparently there is a fifty fifty chance of passing it on if you have it. I’ve never been tested for it, but am thinking about it if I want to continue to have children. Here is one web site I found about it, it seems to help some but brings up more questions also. http://www.geneclinics.org/profiles/hht/details.html
Vent away, my dear! I totally understand where you are coming from. When I miscarried my last baby, Samantha Rose, I was miserable for a very long time. It seemed like everybody else was getting pregnant and having healthy babies. As a matter of fact, the famous septuplets (7 babies!) were born the same week I lost my little girl. I was so mad at that…she got seven babies and my one died! Anyway, I understand where you are coming and those dang doctors better give you a good answer soon so that we can celebrate with you! We love you, Kaleena!
Hi, I know what you feel like. My daughter died when she was 9 days old. People used to tell me all the time that everything happens for a reason and that used to make me so mad. I used to think “What good would come from me watching my baby die?”. Now, I just don’t think that way. I hope that you find some light in your life. Its been 2 years since my baby died and I still think about her everyday but…I don’t cry everyday. So I guess it does get easier. If you ever need to vent…I’m around.