Hi Merl, Just checking in. Haven’t run into you for a while… Hopefully that’s a good thing. One of the terms of your contract is to get permission from Greg before quitting (under severe penalty of being flogged with a wet noodle.)
I had a crap day yesterday. Had a seizure and ended up in the hospital. Luckily I didn’t have to be admitted and spend the night. I’m in the post-seizure funk big time.
Feeling sorry for myself and questioning what, if anything, “matters”. I know it’s a lousy way to look at life. Then I just say to myself, “All you need is a good swift kick in the ass.”
I’m still not sure if this constitutes whining or venting so I’ll apologize for the former. Your friend, Greg
2 Likes
Well Greg, you can damn well stop apologising for a starter 
, but I completely understand that funk. The exhaustion from a seizure only serves to multiply it 10fold. I too tend to fall into that hole at times. Things can be travelling along OK, only for the wheels to fall off. I too try give myself ‘…a good swift kick in the ass.’ And at times this works and I can push on through, but then there are times when I push but this old body pushes back. I have already proven to myself that there are always consequences for pushing. I have to weigh up the cost vs benefit, then decide if I can afford the ‘cost’. Trying to maintain that balance is like trying to juggle bowling balls… You’re going to get hit by one of them at some point.
Frustration is omnipresent. I have a bit of an internal battle along the lines of ‘I could before, I can now’ but often I can’t. I’ve often said ‘Some days I could leap a tall building in a single bound, some days I’m lucky to just crawl out of bed’ and it’s all variable.
For me, I often need to ‘take stock’, self examine what’s gone on and ‘why I can’t’. The silly thing is that I know it, I know the ‘why?’ but sometimes that ‘acceptance thing’ needs a little convincing.
So don’t be apologising for venting, we all need to vent or that pressure just builds and builds and can be VERY destructive for everybody involved. Who better to vent to than people who have some comprehension of it all. Us.
Merl from the Modsupport Team
2 Likes
Hi Merl, Deal! No more apologies. I think I’ve been searching for that illusive balance between “pushing on through” and cutting myself some slack to stay in bed.
The frustrating thing is the ever-shifting sands… On one day it’s obvious that I’m just being lazy and on other days doing nothing is just plain smart.
And those darn sands can shift very quickly.
You can probably tell I’m still in a bit of a funk because I over-analyze till the cows come home. Thanks for your words. Greg P.S. I noticed you didn’t say how you’re doing.
2 Likes
Ohh, same, same.
I (and everyone around me) get sick of explaining it all. I try to smile and tell them ‘yea, I’m good…’ but behind that ‘mask’ it can be nasty bad, like you say ‘Shifting sands’. Ask me in an hour’s time and it may all have changed, so ‘Yea, I’m good’ …is just easier.
Merl from the Modsupport Team