AVM Survivors Network

You Know That

You know you’ve spent too much time doing “close up” work if you can’t even make out letters on the computer screen even with your glasses on…

You know you’ve been fighting headaches for a while when someone asks specifically how your headaches are doing (prayer partner kind of thing) and you have to think about it because you are so stinkin’ used to the headaches.

You know that you’ve got “something” that very few can see when “they” expect you to do what you used to do. And you can’t.

No matter how hard you try, your physical you won’t let you. And that’s different. And it hurts - often physically, but more often emotionally and that’s usually harder.

You know that you’re in good company when you think about guys like Richard and Merl and… (and I mean guys in a very non-gender term for people you are comfortable with.) and know that they will be reading and saying, “Yep.” Or whatever it is that the blokes up by them say.

You know you’re in good company when you can speak freely about real life.

Welcome, good company. The world needs more good company like us.



Yep :wink: (The other words I want to use aren’t appropriate here :grimacing: :roll_eyes:)




Ahhh, Tofu, I was not talking censorship, my reference had to do with what I learned from my English Professor in college -

Profanity is the effort of a feeble brain to express itself

Spencer W. Kimball

Good night my fine gents and fair ladies…

I knew I could count on you Merl. Thanks

Hey Tofutti,
“Fuck censoring here. If not here then where?” I’m censoring myself and just saying ‘Yep’ because I think TJ is exactly right. My language here would only be to reinforce what has already been said. Don’t get me wrong I’ve used more expletives than anybody else regarding my situation and I can assure you there’s been a few said by others. TJ writes ‘Profanity is the effort of a feeble brain to express itself’ and I disagree. I think it assists in expressing a tortuous reality, the extremes of frustration and emotion for many of us. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not walking around going ‘F… this’ and ‘F… that’ all day, every day. But there are days that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy and every thing is fucked.
TJ has a lot smoother tongue than I but what he says is SO true.

Merl from the Moderator Support Team



There are exceptions to virtually every rule and I believe there are times when that is appropriate - and for those of us who are here, we get a larger piece of that pie. Wait, did I mix metaphors there?


1 Like


I’m having quite a (not-AVM-bothered-just-normal-life-bothered) week, maybe month, so I’m sorry not to be as present as usual but


I agree with Merl and for you it’s worth cussing but I’m pretty much ok AVM, headache, weird head feeling (actually, I am a bit weird in the head) so for the moment, just


Lots of love,


Hey Tofutti,
Do not and I mean DO NOT be apologising at all. We are all at differing points in our recovery and some days that ‘point’ can vary massively and so can my acceptance of it all. If we all came on here with ‘bubbles and sunshine’ everyday, how real would that be? It wouldn’t. I could come on here and put on my smiley mask each day but the reality is far from ‘smiley’ and we know that all too well. We all have bad days and we MUST let it out, if we don’t the pressure can build and be highly destructive. This is not just a physically demanding situation but a HUGE emotional one too for everyone involved.

We do not choose this and have not gotten here by choice, who the hell would choose this?? Not I, that’s for damn sure. You’d have to be batshit crazy to choose this, but none the less, here we are. So we have to manage the best way we can and a bit like DickD some days that can be ‘…ok AVM, headache, weird head feeling…’ but then some days it’s more ‘Fuck the world and every bastard on it’ and we get that.

So, please, do not be apologising.

Merl from the Moderator Support Team