How many people have an AVM that has not caused them to become disabled/unable to work still work? I know I am very blessed to have not had a catastrophic bleed but I feel like sometimes I am drowning. I am always forgeting to do stuff at work. Losing my train of thought and finding myself looking and feeling like an idiot with people staring at me. I feel tired and unmotivated almost all the time. I don't know if I am depressed or if the AVM or what. Maybe a combination of both. I am feeling so frustated I want to cry.
Melissa, hugs. This is a tough time you are going through right now. I, too, know how you feel, and thought my avm was driving me insane. Depression can manifest physical symptoms, can drain your energy and throw your thought process off. I have a VM that is untreatable, so I was really unraveling inside knowing there is nothing drs can do for me at least not right now. I started taking zoloft and ativan, I have already seen a decrease in mental fog. I am still kind of stuck in a rut but the lack of motivation is better now. Even on days when I’m hurting all over I can get up, sit with the kids, be a person! Talk to your doctor, Melissa, you deserve to feel better than you feel right now. And if u feel like crying, it may help u feel better.
Hi Melissa,
I agree with what Mamaginof3 said, there is the posibility that it could be depression. After my aneurysm bled and I was subsequently diagnosed with an AVM I was SUPER depressed. I felt like my whole life had been taken away from me even though my AVM so far has not cause any symptoms (it is an active AVM at this moment). I spoke with my neurosurgeon about it and he told me that often times people deal with depression and PTSD after such a diagnosis. Since i don't like taking medication, I decided to go in for acupuncture and theraputic massage and found that it helped greatly.
I also found myself feeling very lonely since i work primarily from home which did not help. I find that being around very supportive people and very positive people has helped me heal emotionally.
If you are finding that nothing is helping I would speak with your doctor to see if it is an issue with depression or your AVM.
As for forgetting to do things at work, maybe make yourself a list or set reminders on your phone so that you remember to do what is necessary. I am notorious for forgetting things which doesn't have anything to do with my AVM, just my scrambled mind and I find that making lists and setting reminders helps so much!
I am already taking Prozac and Lamictal(mood stabilizer). I have been on those for quite a while. I started seeing a phychiatrist which increased the prozac and added the lamictal because of the symptoms I was having. I have an upcoming appt with her on the 8/2/13. I will ask her about it. May have to adjust my meds again. I had started seeing her way before I found out about the AVM. She asks me about it everytime I see her. It cames and goes. I will be worn out one day and back to myself the next. Or it may last for days. I may feel ok mentally but be worn out physically. The other day I felt like the world had come to an end. I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. I don't understand it. It just makes me feel like I am wasting my life. My kids are growing up without me. That makes me feel terrible.
I am a high school Special Education/English teacher. I have an active AVM & 2 clipped aneurysms.
After my craniotomy for the aneurysms, I had a lot of difficulty focusing & remembering things. I went back to work 6 weeks after surgery (had surgery during the summer, so I didn't miss any school). The IT dept. for the district had asked us not to set up our classroom computers because someone had messed things up with the network when the administrative & counseling staff started working on student schedules, so I ended up waiting 3 weeks to get them to set it up & get it to actually work. I left myself LOTS of post-it notes & emailed myself reminders from my cell phone so that I'd remember to print out documents, fill out paperwork, etc.
Zoloft actually made me feel tired every afternoon about 4:00 (I would normally work until 5:00 or 6:00 to complete paperwork). I switched to Nortriptylene & it helped.
I still use physical post-it notes (and the computer screen post-it notes), email reminders, and my email calendar to help me keep track of everything I have to do. I'm going to rely on them a LOT this school year since I am teaching 3 different preps instead of 1--and still keeping up with my SpEd caseload. And, now my mother has moved in with me & my husband. She was diagnosed with lung cancer in February. They told us yesterday it is Stage 4. We start a new round of chemo on Friday. It is going to be a crazy year.
After my gamma knife, and I also have Lymes, I had to stop and pay attention the changes in myself and in my life....and adjust it accordingly. It wasn't easy, and I cry my eyes out, but after the tears, I looked at my situation as it is, and changed things so that it made life easier for me.
Does that make sense? Like, I was late to everything, being someone who was on time...I realized it takes me much longer to get ready...had to give myself more time.
Whether it's AVM's Lymes, or anything else...we need to take care of ourselves first. Eventually, as we get older we'll need to adjust to that. I know that all to well. So take care of yourself first, and never never give up.
I’m about two years into treatment and having complete blanks and not being able to remember things is an everyday thing! My memory wasn’t this bad before 
Dear Gail
What are Lyme’s?
I have been on disability for more than 10 years now. I had a lot of problems that interfered with my ability to work. Couldn't concentrate, foggy head, number issues, on and on.
Tried Lexapro for something or another, depression, anxiety, something like that. That caused a seizure within 3 days of starting it. That nipped that in the bud.
C'est la vie!
Best of luck to you.
You can get Lymes Disease by a tick bite that's carried by deer. It wasn't really until the 1970's that it was acknowledged and brought to the public's attention. If untreated Lymes can invade your joints leaving the body seriously disabled, with many suffering with neurological problems....it can be fatal.
It's name comes from the town of Lyme, Connecticut. Many families in that town came down with the symptoms, flu like feelings, lethargic, joint pain. They were not being diagnosed properly, so unfortunately many became severely ill.
Long story short....it's treated with 3 months of antibiotics, if caught early. Many get the rash that looks like a bulls-eye, and many get bit and don't get the rash. So when there is the first sign of flu like feelings...run don't walk, and get tested. The bad news is the tests are not always accurate, but you're still prescribed antibiotics.
I know it must sound complicated, and it is. There is so much we know about it and so much more is needed to be done. It's very serious, and has had it's fair share of controversy. I live in one of the area's that has a high rate of Lymes.
I had the classic rash back in the 1970's, but I went into the second stage of it, which meant joint pain. Being young and active and hugely naïve....it wasn't until recently going of an anti=inflammatory that I had a flair up. My entire body was in pain and swollen. I am now on the 3rd and final round of antibiotics. Feeling much better...taking complete care...changed foods, exercise etc. Hoping for the best.
Probably too much info. But it's so important to spread the word and help inform. Because early treatment can cure it for good.
Thank you for asking.
Sending my best
Gail
Yes I feel like that every day feel sorry for u but glad I am not alone; was not sure if it is the avm, meds over stressed or age (44); i have headaches since avm and am in pain a lot; nice to know no alone ur there;) good luck