Everyone deserves the same opportunities, but for some, they are not so accessible.
I too could ask the big WHY question.
Why did I try for 4 years for a baby to be told I'd never concieve naturally - when all I ever dreamt of was being a wife and a mum?
Why did I then concieve naturally against all odds but then have my husband walk out on me and a nine month old baby because HE couldn't cope with fatherhood?
Why did I take him back for him to do the same thing again after the birth of our second son?
Why did my first born have Neuroblastoma - an aggressive childhood cancer - that claimed his life the morning following his 5th birthday?
Why does my second son need a psychiatrist because of how deeply it affected him?
Why, when I remarried, did the man I love have to have the same faultly genes as me - causing our daughter to be disabled?
Why do we all battle with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, chronic fatigue and pain?
Why are our lives consumed with hospital appointments?
Why did my husbands business go into liquidation?
Why was our home and our car repossessed?
Why has our health deteriorated so much?
Why did I have to have a dammed AVM in my brain?
Of course I can turn all this negativity around, and that is the only way to get through it, learn to accept it and make the most of what life you are given, because whatever life throws your way, there is always someone worse off, always.
I have had the pleasure of being a wife and mum - yes the first attempt failed - but I tried again and succeeded!
My husband left me with a nine month old baby - but it made me a stronger person, I learnt to be mum and dad all rolled into one, it made me more independant and more determined!
I took him back because I loved him and my son and I was able to forgive and not be bitter.
I had my beautiful first born son for 5 precious years, he taught me the fragility of life, taught me to laugh in the face of your demons, taught me to love the deepest love - I was honoured to be his mum and blessed to have him in my life.
My second son is dealing with his emotions with the help of his psychiatrist - he's not bottling up his grief, without the help, he would be a mess.
Our daughter is physically disabled, but she is blessed with intelligence beyond her years, what she lacks in mobility, she makes up for in everything else, she is kind, thoughtful, gentle, loving, compassionate and a beautiful person, inside and out. I could not want for a better daughter.
We all have a gentic condition, no one is perfect! So why should we be??? We are what we are, acceptance is a way of life, without it the world would be a bitter twisted angry place.
Our life is full of hospital appointments - but at these appointments I have met some of the best friends I could ever wish to have! People that share our problems and understand, lovely people and friends for life.
As one door closes another opens, we now live in a lovely area, where the people are really friendly, my son is happier at school here than he ever was before, we have wood and forest nearby, we have lovely neighbours.... we are happy here, so we don't own our own house anymore... my husband is employed by someone else.... but what does that matter?
My health in particular has rapidly gone downhill, but it has brought us together as a family, made us stronger and we can see the good things in life, no matter how hard the struggle... they are there to find!
Who knows the reason for my AVM? It's there, thankfully found by accident before it bled... a blessing!
I know it's not always easy to look for the positives in all the negativity.... but it's there if you look hard enough, you just have to keep your head above water and swim, no matter how the tide keeps changing.
Life is for living - so whatever it throws at you - live, love and laugh!