What to tell your kids

What do you tell your kids when they start asking questions even do you have not told them anytime they are hearing it from us and other people ???its just so hard as they are to young to be told the truth and are old enoghue to be told something , my daughter worries about everything and is having problems at school just wondering has anyone else got the same the problems ?em

yep thats my two Jason is 2 and very clever and Leah is 5 ,ye its very true as Leah is having problems at school as she is probably trying to understand it all on her own she asks questions like where do we go when we die and will we come back now I dont think a 5 yr old should be thinking of that or even having to worry about it, but maybe if I sit her down and explain some thing to her it might be better for her to understand? dont know ?

Luckily, my children were much older, but the way we explained it was that “mom had a problem in her brain called an AVM that gives her bad headaches. It’s going to take a while for the doctors to fix it, but they WILL fix it. In the meantime, here are the ways that you can help Mommy…” Then we told each of them age-appropriate ways to help, such as not yelling or not blasting the stereo or helping with the dishes, etc. Your children will feel better knowing that they are helping you. My son gave me his cushie neck pillow to use for the trip to Boston. Both children rub my forehead to make the headaches better.

Hello Emma!Your kids are very young.I think if you tell them to much about the AVM they will get scared.How can you daughter go to school without being worried that her mom could have a bleed?My daughter is 7.I had to tell her while my husband was in Iraq so she would call the ambulance in case something happens.Now she’s telling me all the time not to carry anything heavy or get mad,because I could have a bleed.She acts like an adult.She started having problems in school too.I don’t think they can focus if they are worried about us.Now it got better since she knows the radiation is working and reduced the size of the AVM already.Try to explain that you are sick,but it’s nothing bad.You had your treatment already,in a couple years the AVM will be gone!

Mine are a bit older, 11 and 7, and I have severe seizures so they know something is up. My son, the 7 year old, is pretty oblivious to it, except hes going to a fair this weekend and told me he was going to ‘win me a stuffed bear to take to the hospital for my surgery’. Other than that he doesnt acknowledge it, in fact if i were seizing on the floor he’d probably step over me LOL.

My daughter, who is 11, goes from checking on me every five seconds ‘mom r u ok, r u gonna have a seizure?’ to acting out, which I understand, as my AVM has been a major adjustment and inconvenience for us all.

I don’t believe in hiding much from them anyway, so when this was found out, couldnt really hide the seizures and it freaked them out at first, I just explained mommy had a bad thing in her head and the doctors were gonna have to go in and take it out. My son was satisfied with that, My daughter asked questions and I tried to answer honestly but not be scary or too graphic about it. Hope this helps some ~ Jo

best to tell them now so they can understand what is going on and to help them except how you are. Kids are preety strong, especially when they know whats up.:slight_smile: smile

Does anyone notice that the words they type to this forum , sometimes its spells its wrong, that or I have sticky keys …hehehe lol. drives me nuts, I never see it till I go back and read it…AFTER ITS POSTED…HEHEH…SORRY …:wink:

You’re in good company, Caroline…happens to me all the time! :wink: