Does anyone here ever get the feeling that time stands still at one particular moment? Be it diagnosis, rupture, or the realization that life is different… I seem to be the same but the world has aged. Or maybe it is the complete opposite. Either way, I am having trouble adapting with my new AVM mindset into an old life that is no longer there. Any similar stories, please share.
This is a huge question and one that is often overlooked by the medical profession.
I’ll share my own personal experience. Before my AVM rupture, I was a fun-loving, care-free, young professional. I thought about my next vacation, my next car, buying a nice house, and enjoying the bachelor life.
After my AVM rupture, everything changed. Every morning in the shower or while shaving I think about my life and how happy I am to be alive. The old me is dead. I like the new me a lot better though. My values have changed, my definition of success has changed. Everything changed.
I think the experiences of cancer survivors are sometimes relevant here. Here’s one: http://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/youve-survived-cancer-now-what
Great post!
Ben
Time stood still for me when my ENT doctor himself called me at work to tell me the results of my “routine” brain MRI. He said, “I’m not saying it’s a tumor, but…” and then called a neurologist himself to make an appointment for me.
I agree with Ben and Lianne…I’ve become a new person. I think that I’m more patient with others (although just the opposite with myself.) I’m so much more aware of all my blessings now and am closer to God. I really like the new me…I just wish my physical health could match my spiritual health!
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Here’s a positive side effect of this experience for me: super productivity.
Before, I was going through life on cruise-control. Giving it a good 40-60%.
After, I pop out of bed before the sun comes up, work on a thousand projects (work and non-work) until I’m exhausted. I guess it’s because I don’t take anything for granted anymore. I don’t take for granted to ability to run on a treadmill, so I do it as often as I can.
Hello Chelsea,
I’ve been away so welcome to the group! Yes time does stand still. I had my Avm removed one year ago…this has been the longest year and hardest. Old friends just can’t understand…so I can’t expect them to! I am not the same person…never will be again. I can only hope to be better and live with the limitations brought on by this. My old life is gone…and that hurts but I now set attainable goals for myself and if those around me don’t understand the it is their loss. I have to live with what has happened to me and do the best I can. I push myself to continue …life gets hard but I know that if I don’t depression sets in and I end up in bed! I didn’t live thru this to give up. Your goal as EMT is wonderful. Hope that works for you and you feel strong enough to accomplish it. We are here…this site save my sanity.
Sending Angel light and love…d
hello Chelsea,
I have to say that I feel that way at least once a day if not for hours at a time (daily). for me my mind just gets really tired and everything goes into slow motion and it is like everything around me slows down. My husband even tells me that I talk slow, and even mix up my words a lot when this happens which is usually right after or even before a seizure. October 31st will be one year anniversary from my 2nd surgery and I’m still struggling with this. I’m not sure it will ever go away or if I will ever be the person that I was pre AVM…and there isnt anything that I know of that I can do to know if I ever will be. Only time will tell. But I know I am more cautious with my life and try to take it one day at a time.