The first date

Where to start? Never in my life wrote something like that before, but now I feel it is time to talk. In my family we never expressed any feelings, because feelings are for the weak and for girls. So it won`t be easy for me but I try it.
Seven and almost a half years ago my life totally changed. It started as an average Sunday after a hard Saturday night. 15 beers and a bottle of Captain Morgan Spiced rum, a concert and a girl whose name I can`t remember. I woke up around 14:30 on Sunday with a really terrible hangover. It was strange because I never had a hangover. I cooked some chicken drank a beer and took a shower to make things easier. Me and my flatmate wanted to go to the city, so I started dress up. The last thing I remember is putting up my shoes. And than I was lying on the floor. It was the scariest thing ever happened to me. It was like staring to the deep space, I wanted to escape but my body didn`t obey to me. I couldn`t move I wasn`t there but at the same time I was in the middle of that thing. Than everything went black and it was like redemption.
After some time – it was like maybe 20 minutes – I woke up. My flatmate is 6 ft. tall, that time he was around 120 kg-s, but he looked like a midget compared to the other 3 guys standing in my room in orange uniforms. I thought it is maybe Monday morning, and time to go to work. When they asked my name, the date and if I know what happened to me, I had only some slight memories. Usually I know my name, the date and what is going on with me and usually there aren`t guys in orange uniforms in my room so it seemed a bit strange. I knew the answer to the next question and told them I had only a couple of beers last night, nothing illegal.
As I said, the previous night was an average Saturday night in terms of alcohol consumption. I had my first beer when I was 12, drank it with my dad. On the same day I had my first cigarette. By the age of 15 I drank regularly, mostly the cheapest red wine I could buy. On a school trip to Germany at the age of 17 I switched to beer. Before my incident I was on a holiday for 2 weeks. I drank every day and night. I didn`t do it for fun. I did it to fill the emptiness inside and by that time I really hated myself. So I can say I was one step from a proper alcoholic. And now back to the story.
It came out the guys in orange are paramedics and they are here to save me. Grand mal, also known as tonic-clonic seizure, also known as epilepsy. The night ended at the hospital.
The funny thing about a neurology ward is you can meet with a lot of interesting people. Like the guy next to my bed who didn`t like clothes and was bare naked. It was a perfect end for a perfect day.
Next morning they made my first test, an EEG. They let me go, told me visit my doctor and also I will have an MRI scan in 2 weeks.
I was frustrated, confused and scared. Didn`t know what`s going on but I felt things are out of my control and I depend on tests, doctors, medications and nobody knows for sure what the hell is wrong with me. Usually if I felt something like that I opened a beer. But the first thing they told me about Tegretol, my new friend: don`t even think about drinking. So my problem solving method was gone and it made this even worse. I thought it will last only for 2 weeks, I have a brake and than a comeback and everything will back to normal.

Keep writing, mdeer. You have a unique and powerful voice.