AVM Survivors Network

Temporary paralysis

I have paralysis/nerve damage on
my left side.
I have not gotten a solid answer about why some or a couple of days in a row my hand is working so much better and then a day when I cant hardly open my hand?
Aggravating, lose the therapy I’ve gained.

Hey Tempest,
I know just how frustrating the recovery process is BUT it is not a straight line projection. We have good days, we have bad days and then we have days we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemies.

My recommendation here is not to be looking for improvement each and everyday, but to look at recovery over the long term. I too was looking for that ‘each day improvement’ and got real down on myself when it didn’t happen. The more I forced myself the worse I became. I had the idea “I could before: I can now” But I couldn’t and this was frustrating as all hell. I had the idea I just needed to build up stamina, but my body’s limits had all changed, trying to push it was simply pushing myself into the ground. I had to learn to pace myself and this was very foreign. Previously I had 2 speeds, full tilt and stopped. Initially, post surgery, if I went full tilt for an hour, I was bedbound for the next 4 hours, in agony. Being a pigheaded male I pushed harder and it damn near killed me. Ahhh, don’t do that. I paid dearly for that. I had to learn to listen to my body, not my ego. My body was telling me ‘STOP’, my ego didn’t want to listen.

This thing called recovery is a marathon, not a sprint. I tried sprinting the first kilometre of the marathon and as I say ‘…it damn near killed me…’, we need to take things slow and steady. We will have setbacks, we have to re-learn our new limits and that ain’t easy. Then we have to accept those limits and this was a huge obstacle for me personally. I wanted to be back where I started and it didn’t happen. I’m now 6yrs post surgery and sure I’ve improved but I’m nothing like back before and I’ve been told I probably never will be. This is very frustrating but it’s a reality I have no control of. Even now I still battling with the acceptance side of this. Do I want to be ‘here’? HELL NO!!! But it’s a reality I have no choice in.

Try looking at your recovery over the long term, even a small improvement is a plus.

Merl from the Moderator Support Team