Stop asking questions

I really feel like I´m struggling as hard as I can every day, and still I´m just sinking deeper and deeper. Some days I just feel like stop breadign. But you can´t. I was out with my friends and my man yesterday. It was so many people on the pub and I can´t shut them down and consentrate at one conversation. I don´t understand what people are talking about and that make me don´t wanting to interakt. I just keep to my self and being a boring person. But I rater be boring than stupid. Because that what people ask if I am when I try to ask questions to understand what they are talking about.
So now I´m asking my self today, do I whant to be stupid or just plain boring. Do I need to understand what people are talking about or can I just sit there feeling alone. I want to be that fun loving girl that I used to be but I just can´t right now. Tanks to the people who does stand out whit my never ending questions. I know You alwas be there even if I´m sad some days.
Love you all