Somewhere between why and how

Hey All, So it’s been a little bit, thought I’d check in and share a bit more of my story…

I think I’ve talked to you all before about Laura Story’s book, “When God Doesn’t Fix it” and how she and her husband had to get from the “why” questions - “Why did this happen to me?” To the “How” questions - how can I still be me, how can I still be a force for good in my family, my world, how can God use me?

My counselor and I decided that I’m pretty much balancing between the why and the how right now. Not spending very much time in either and yet trying to get more and more into the How category but having to have patience. He also said that learning my limitations - what I can do and what I can’t and knowing that if I do ______ I can do it but I’ll pay for it with increased headaches for a while afterwords - that’s actually a healthy thing because I am taking control rather than letting “it” control me.

6 weeks into the new headache meds, they seem to have done two things - they have increased the ringing in my head (Dick - #reallynoisyheadguy) and they have lowered the spike in my headaches - rather than going up to a 7 or an 8, they go to a 5 or a 6. It hasn’t reduced the number or the length of them but they aren’t as high.

We’re starting to explore the idea of getting a second opinion, not on the neuro doc and the Embolization but on the ENT doc and speech pathologist because I’m not real confident that they know what to do with me. Shoot, there are a lot of days where my teenagers don’t know what to do with me.

Still waiting to hear from Social Security Disability yet - cautiously optimistic. Still trying to figure out what this “new” life is going to look like.

Still very grateful for all of you,

And on that note, got to go.