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AVM Survivors Network

Social life?

Hi!
I am a care giver for my son and I have a question those of you who’ve suffered a bleed, specifically those who were unmarried/single at the time of your bleed. My son’s bleed took place nearly five years ago and he is physically doing well, although he does suffer from speech issues as a result of aphasia. He’s 28 now, working full time and goes to the gym 5-6 days a week but, he has no interest in regaining his social (dating etc) life. My question is, have you been able to reclaim your social interaction and/or joined the dating scene? Strange question I know but I’m a dad…

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I had a bleed but was married at the time, and still am! I did become really withdrawn and had to be boosted in the right drection, not dating of course, but just to interact with others. I became very safe in my home, with walking by myself. I was good when friends stopped by but didn’t seek soical interaction. That subsided fairly quickly for me but did need a little bit of encouragement. It would be hard to encourage your son in that direction, the fact he is working and hitting the gym hopefully will present some opportunities for further social engagement. Take Care, John.

I had a social life and “friends” when younger, but now I am 62 and have no social life. My husband has tinnitus and we just cannot go anywhere. Everything hurts his ears. We are remodeling our master bath in Sept. so we can “age in place” hopefully. I was a loner when I was a kid. My biggest joy was to climb up in a tree with a good book.
Could your son be embarrassed by his speech problem? Embarrassment of any kind can make you antisocial. I had a brace on my leg and walked with a cane. People stared at me and I was embarrassed. Can he get more speech therapy? They could have told him they had done all they could-my therapy was done when I said it was done. 1973.

Thanks John thats very encouraging. Glad you are doing well!

John, After rereading your reply may I ask you a question? How did people encourage you toward interaction? It seems like my son too has gotten very safe “at home” and with a routine that forgoes social interaction. I’m trying to respect him but would like ideas on the best way to prompt him to become more socially engaged. Thanks again.

1973, Thanks for your reply I do think he’s embarrassed or lacks confidence. I’ll continue to encourage him. Thanks again and good luck with that master bath.

I’m the same age as your son and am also single. As for do I prefer being single it doesn’t really bug me. Life to me is more simple when you’re single but you do have that time of year where you get a little bored. Me mostly January and February just because the weather sucks so there’s not much to do outside there aren’t any movies that are good and there’s not really any sports to watch. That’s why I have 2 dogs give me some company. As for dating I haven’t in a while. Dated back in college but after college when everyone goes there own way and you split you can’t really find someone that’s your age that’s not married. But it doesn’t bug me.

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Basically it was my wife kindly convincing me to go out and do things. She set up a few things with friends for us to do and off we went. Without the encouragement I probably would have struggled to get out, particularly early on when I knew the brain wasn’t working quite as well. One of the big things was when I was allowed to drive again was being unavailable to go with me to a kids rugby game due to work commitments, made me venture out on my own. I had no problems but was fairly intimidating, and if you knew me pre-bleed would not think that would ever be the case! Take Care, John.