'Board, pissed off, frustrated and fed up, but apart from that Im alright. Health wise I have no pains but It drives me mad that I know where the delete key is and I seem to hit it more often then the keys I am aiming for. I still walk like a duck (a duck walks better) and I feel difficult. I look for a miracle cure but it isn't there. They tell me time. I feel like screaming. I realise they are right but I still get mad. My head tells me its not fair but I know there is worse out there. I guess I just keep going and keep trying. I just get so tired of it all. Aw well I will just keep on gin and bearing it for another day. Smile, its not that hard xxx'.
Kellie,
You know AVMs are frustrating and just come in and turn everything topsy- turvey (I might not have spelled that right, but I really don't care, you know what I mean). But as much as you are tired of hearing this, from both my personal experience as well as the experiences I've read about from other members, the brain takes a very long time to heal. I'm guessing that you had surgery in November, is this correct?
My AVM was also in the cerebellum very near the brain stem and they said if it ruptured, I may stop breathing immediately. I was also in my mid forties when it was discovered and I had never heard of an AVM. This was the tail end of 2006. In my case the surgery lasted hours and I ended up with double-vision (now corrected), nausea (did not expect that one) and some side effects of the surgery.
Bottom line, we (the members here as well as the moderators) can not say a pie in the sky response or that everything will be better with time, because every AVM is a journey and is unique and things may or may not be so bright.
But the one thing you can always hold onto is how you react to the circumstances. Depression, confusion, despair are all issues that unfortunately can pop up for those in the midst of this AVM journey. Your reaction to circumstances can be helped by talking to a therapist, counselor, neuro-psych, (whatever you want to call it) and can also help you navigate through the barrage of emotions that you are facing as well.
This site is also awesome support and we want you to know that you are not alone in this journey. Best of luck to you and please, keep us posted. :)
By the way, Tony in Australia is an awesome guy and I am extremely proud to call him my friend. You are in great hands there. :)
Hi Kellie. Sometimes a good rant is what we all need. I bet most of us have wanted to do a primal scream now and then. So that’s okay in my book! Now let’s talk about the time frame for healing. The brain controls everything in your body. If you broke every bone in your body by way of a horrible car accident…would you expect it to heal up in a few months and everything be normal again…the way it was before the car accident. Of course not. But we all expect our brains that control everything to heal up immediately and everything be alright…the way it was before the AVM. Please read this letter…http://waiting.com/letter.html. It may seem like an eternity. But unlike cancer…time is your friend. Give your brain a chance to heal and do not ever give up hope!