Scared

It's been a long time since my last post,but sadly there hasn't been much progress with getting rid of the AVM. I had an angiogram,but my serious fear of going through radiation again prevented any progress from occurring. I wish that (1)I wasn't so afraid of the pain that came with my first experience that I could give it another try,and (2)they came up with some other non-invasive way to obliterate AVMs. But what can you do. We're now all hoping that it will heal by itself,with prayers and faith and not science and fear.

In terms of physical recovery,I've been trying out a Walk-Aid so that I wouldn't need to use a foot brace to walk. The sadder thing is that I may possibly still need a cane to walk safely. In PT we've been working on balance,and I still have a goal of walking without much,just like most people.

Still,thinking of the future scares me. Will all the tears and trauma be worth it in the end? I'm hopeful that God will figure out a way for me to be happy again,but I'm not certain. I always hear people telling me to take it "one step at a time". I think I've been patient long enough. Life is *here* and I need to enjoy it NOW. Please.

Best wishes, Jill. I hope advances will come soon that can give you more choices for treatment. We're rooting for you.