Saturday

We were just coming back in the car on Saturday and chatting. I asked if there was anything more I could be doing at the moment. My wife has gone back to work 4 days now from 2.5 since our child is growing up and progressing with nursery etc. I started to think that we may not get the chance to wear horrible brown cardigans in our old age or I what if things go wrong for me in the future who is my daughter going to be calling Daddy? I don’t want her to call anyone else Daddy but me. (Selfish I know.) All this was sparked by my fMRI apt next week which I’ve had before. All I know it could be months until the results get analysed and I see the consultant and after that I have to wait for the surgery. A long time. Still a long time to think. I wonder if the clinicians think of this? Either way tears came and I tried to hide them from all. Just a minute or two, but it just makes you frustrated but also glad its understood…its not easy. I don’t want to miss them.