Really? I mean seriously? How many other obstacles are there?

Okay, I’m ticked off. After talking with my pulmonologist and my primary care doctor, they both agreed that I’m not at an increased risk of getting CoVid19, but I am at an increased risk of getting a worse case of it. Because of that, I have tried to be even more cautious about social distancing and wearing a mask and all of that. The reason, they said, was because I have a compromised respiratory system - I’m basically breathing on 1 1/2 lungs.

Today, I had an appointment with my laryngologist (side note - that’s a hard word to learn how to type very rapidly.) Everything checked out except for discussions we had about COVID. I told him what my pulmonologist said and he agreed with that and said they are finding more and more information on the neurologic impacts that COVID has. He went so far as to say that if I was struggling to breath (I mean really struggling) and either going on a ventilator or coming off a ventilator, it could have some nasty long term impacts (insert disclaimer that says we really don’t know). I’m like, WTF? And I’m thinking I need to figure out what in the world I’m supposed to do. Suddenly isolating myself on mainly in one room does not seem to be enough.

It’s about enough to make me want to find a cabin in the middle of nowhere.

So, now, not only am I at greater risk because my compromised lungs wouldn’t recover very well, but I’m also at an increased risk because my cranial nerves would more likely than not be damaged while fighting Covid and if I survive, I would probably be dealing with significant neurological challenges.

So, what’s a guy supposed to do? I’m asking in all seriousness. Do I follow normal guidelines and pray for the best? Do I find a small house or small apartment to rent and communicate with the family predominantly electronically except for Sunday dinner and maybe one or two other times a week? Do we buy a motorhome and use it as our little roaming quarantine?

I don’t know what to do and I’m not happy about it.



@TJ127 Hi TJ Well my husband when he was married to his ex who was a terrible wife got a terrible pneumonia and was in the hospital for over a month- He also is breathing on 1 1/2 lungs and now has lovely COPD from it.
He is high risk for catching it and not recovering from it- So he has not left the house since March 11th well he does put the garbage out- But that is it- I quarantine all mail and packages. I do all the shopping or order online - And I change all the grocery bags immediately while I am in the parking lot with bags that have either been washed or quarantined -
No one comes to the house to visit. I had to keep explaining to my dad that he cant come over - my parents are not used to seeing me- I even got Stanford to make my appt the same day as my mom just so I could see her.
I change my clothes immediately after I come home- Obviously I wash immediately as well. I only go shopping every 7 to 14 days-
We have vogmasks
We take Vit C VIt D and Zinc
We dont order food to go We cook everything
My husband had just retired early on March 6th - He is kinda a home body anyway so its not been a huge bummer other than not being able to go out to eat, travel and to see our grandson. We thought we would be traveling and luckily had not planned anything.
We also eat a lot of tomato or pasta salads cause I am Italian and I use Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar which I believe helps keep our gut healthy.
I think if you are eating healthy, limiting your contact with people, and the people in your household that are going out in the public are immediately cleaning themselves and their clothes no one is eating out and everyone is wearing a mask when outside no matter what you should be good. I just read that we are expecting here in the states for it to continue and to be really bad in the winter.

I know a good friend of ours who lives in NYC told us a story of his friend who was a healthy fit pharmacist 54 6’3 220 pounds and he just felt tired no other symptoms but he got tested and it came back neg so he went back to work - and 3 days later he died! here the tests 48% are incorrect-
I think the version we have in the Bay Area is not the same strain as in NYC which seems more deadly- last time I read there were 14 strains. All we can do is try to be as prepared and preventative as we can be. And keep people who are not following the rules away from us.
Hugs Angela

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Hi TJ127!!!

I can imagine how you feel. I´ve had been there. I can even picture some of the doctors talking with their infallible attitudes and opinions. In my own experience, I have learned that there are moments in life that you should trust your inner voice. On November 2002 I had my last two strokes and was in critical condition, I received the last rights and after I left the hospital, I presented severe allergies, I had received so many medication that nobody knew what was causing the allergy, but they told us that if I started to have trouble breathing I should go to ER immediately. I have always done my own research and read when something isn´t very clear. I was talking several anticonvulsivants at that moment. We discovered that some of those medicines produced severe allergies, the pictures on the internet were very similar to what I was showing so I said to my parents: “I have so much medication on me that it will take some time to get rid of it”, they agreed and we decided to suspend everything and go see my neurologist on Tuesday, it as Friday and it was a three day weekend. He told us that we made the right decision.

We all have faced more than one obstacle. Once I was talking to my mom and I cried and said to her: “ I wish that for once in my life things would be easy”. I understand you.

I will pray so that God gives you the wisdom to make the best decisions and so he continues to protect you.

You can always count on me for whatever you need. God bless you. With all my love Angela


There’s a chance. And there’s consequences. But, there’s also consequences to reducing the chance. TJ, ur one of my favorite people. I hope you find the right balance between being safe and enjoying life. Whatever you decide, I hope it frees you from doubt and worry :slight_smile:

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tough decision, but isolating yourself from your friends/family doesn’t sound like living to me; follow the protocols, use common sense and make the most of your day.

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Jeremy - I don’t know what I did to earn MFP status but thank you for making me smile.

All of you who responded here and directly, thank you. You all mean more and are appreciated more than I could ever say.

So here’s where I stand. After very lengthy (and I think if you printed it, it would be close to 15 pages) between me, my primary care doc, my daughter (a DNP who specializes in pediatrics but loves research and learning - she was a huge help when my Dad had pancreatic cancer and she’s been a huge help in understanding some of my medical stuff), my pulmonologist and my neurosurgeon, we came to a bit of a conclusion:

  1. As soon as one of my two “soon to move out” kids actually moves out (realistically as soon as next week or as long at 2 months), then I’m going to move my “Hang out” to one of their rooms - less distractions so i can hopefully get more done, feel better about myself and hopefully feel better physically.
  2. The 8 to 5 time every day will try to be mostly spent writing (include the cue to the Hamilton song) working on house projects, yard projects and me projects (things I want to do, things I need to do and so forth) my therapist says he is convinced I spend too much time helping my family and not enough time helping myself.
  3. The rest of the day will be spent like, well like all of us who work or used to work away from home every day - family stuff, cooking, cleaning, walking the dog…
  4. For now, going in places away from home will consist of only “we really need this and no one else who can drive is home” and then we will use drive thrus, curbside pickup and such as much as possible.
  5. Friends and such - with the exception of the parent (mom) and in-laws, we have a very digital social life - many of our adoptive friends don’t live near us and most of our church friends - it’s at church services (not happening right now) and digital - and that remains strong.
  6. I took a gamble and ordered two masks from a company in Norway. Why? Because while they haven’t been approved by the US government, the EU and a couple of other governments have given the equivalent of our N95 seal of approval. That’s probably the closest I’ll get to true medical equipment.
  7. I’m going to make a point of using my social media not just to like things or brag or something but to actually have good solid interactions - like the one I’ve had the last two days with the director of music at our church and how some white guys only want white leaders.

I’m feeling fairly comfortable, given what my med. team says about the state of Corona and how if I’d meet those goals, I’m probably 90-95% of the way there and to be 100% I would have to be one of those weather channel extreme nature people who live in Alaska totally off the grid.

That ain’t me.

Thanks for caring all of you, it means a lot.



Sounds good. For me, I’ve been going to the shops just once a week for our family and the in-laws. That has meant planning on a 20th-century scale, not the usual 21st century “oh, I fancy such-and-such, I’ll get it on the way to work or NOW” but thinking ahead a whole week and if I don’t remember something, it’s going to have to wait a whole week.

… which would be fine except my brain is now used to being able to go to the shops whenever (21st C style) and I forgot anything special for my son’s birthday, no card, no cake, nothing out of the ordinary for a weekly shop. But I really do think we should get back into the habit of writing a list, doing it once, like we used to all those years ago and sticking to it.

So… resist the urge to go to the shops if its only you who could. It could possibly wait a bit longer if it could wait for someone else to come home or if it could actually wait a couple of days for when someone is planning to go anyway.

Hope this helps.

I’ve been thinking of you but nothing to add of use. The guys had you covered.

Very best wishes!


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… and in our house, it’s me that’s allowed out shopping. Mrs D stays away as she is one of her parents’ carers.

… though we have evidence that she’s not sticking to it.

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Another one of my current fears(I’m taking a break from reading after this thread) - I have asthma & so does my son. My BP is still a bit on the high side & I am a few weeks post an AVM embolization - I am back home(which no one expected to happen) - everyone wants to see me, but I tell everyone no - they are fairly social people & have jobs with high in person contact. The topic of this thread seriously sums up how I currently feel - It’s tough, to say the least - And, after being in ICU & talking to real medical staff that see it - it’s way different than everything is being represented on the outside

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