Poem for my Son who has an AVM

My son was 20 when his AVM ruptured. His only option for treatment was Cyberknife Radiation which can take up to 3 years (or longer) to be fully efficacious. In a few days, we’ll be at the 3 year anniversary and he’ll have the next MRI this summer to see if it is obliterated. I wrote this poem during this period of waiting and thought, perhaps, many of you could relate. I wish us all comfort during these most trying times of parenthood. Be well, Kelly

Blueprint of the Waiting Room


I’ve been remodeling
                                                    my brain
     constructing a new wing
                                                                 for worry

my son’s snarled nest
                            of unpredictable tangles demands
a large parcel of real estate
                                                        in both our skulls

     while radiation 
                                                            hopes to choke
blood vessel by errant blood vessel
                                          my maternal hemispheres
expand two stories
                                                         spiral staircased
floor-to-ceiling medical library
                                      with a sliding ladder on rails

soundproof walls absorb
                                            anguish & night terrors
no space for windows
                                                          light can enter
     only    through the keyhole
                                     in the massive oak door
its key too heavy to carry


              Kelly Cressio-Moeller

First published in West Trestle Review, Jan/Feb 2021

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What a beautiful way to express yourself! Thank you for sharing this.

Sharon from ModSupport

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Thank you for reading and the kind comment, Sharon. I hope it helps parents feel less alone.

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Kelly,

Super poem! Read it out to my wife this evening: poetry is to be read out loud: we both think you are amazing!

Lots of love,

Richard

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Thank you so much, D! Appreciate you sharing it with your wife. Sincere thanks for your kind words and big help!

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Your poem captures the waiting game so well. It’s bad enough having an AVM but it must be worse having a child with one. All the very best for the scan.
Jonny

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Thank you for reading, Jonny! And the good wishes. I’ll be sure to report back in the summer - fingers crossed for success.

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Wow. This is also me and I could not have captured the emotions so perfectly. Thank you.
My prayers for your journey :pray:

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Thank you very much for reading and your kind words. I’m sorry for the reason you can relate to this but also hope it makes you feel less alone. All the best to you and yours.

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Beautiful peom! Thank you for sharing, all the best to your son and your family. I am just starting the journey with my infant son who has an AVM.

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Thank you for the kind words and the read. I’m so sorry you are also on this journey. May you find comfort wherever you can. Wishing your family the very best.

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