Since my AVM & subsequent seizure problems, I feel like my friends walk on eggshells around me. Everyone acts like I’m a bomb waiting to go off. It’s frustrating. I know they only want to help, but they just make me feel worse by trying to tell me what to do or they just act like something is always wrong with me. I just wish they would chill out & let me be me again. I can take care of myself & if I need help, I ask for it. Anyone else feel this way?
It scares people to think something might go wrong with the brain. If it makes you feel any better…trust me they will get bored with the idea of worrying about you and things will calm down. My bleed and subsequent craniotomy happened so long ago…most of my friends have forgotten about it. And that’s the way it should be!
Hi mdiam1,
I went through the same thing after I had multiple gran-mall seizures. My friends and family drove me nuts too! It took a few months but, things eventually got back to normal again. Keep in mind - your friends and your family are scared, very scared. It's one of those situations that people can't help us with. ...They can only support us through it. I think what it is - since they really can't do anything to help us. They feel helpless and that's what scares them. Hang in there, it will get better (wink).
Ben :)
Oh yeah. I discovered the AVM in my cerebellum in September, 2006 and had a craniotomy to remove it in October. The problem is that the surgery left me with a case of slight facial palsy, numbness, dizziness, and double vision. Basically, I looked like I had a stroke since that seems to be what people are more familiar with. I stopped trying to tell them I had an AVM. At first I tried to be honest, but it got too tiring telling people it wasn’t a stroke (I can hear Arnold from the movie Kindergarten Cop saying “it wasn’t a tooomur”…lol).
Anyway, I was lucky in that nothing happened to the brain other than the dizziness. As a matter of fact, while recovering I earned my MBA and currently am working on another master’s degree. Point is, it does not matter what the truth is about your condition; people will see what they want to based on what they know. Especially loved ones that just want to help but can’t possibly understand. So, try to look at things from their perspective, but don’t get mad or angry. It’s just a waste of energy. Vent here because while we are all on our own journey with this AVM thing, we all have the AVM thing in common and can best relate. Do what you do and take things that happen with a grain of salt. I know it’s hard sometimes (not to mention frustrating), but if it really bugs you speak up. That’s seems to be the only way people learn. Or at least I try to think so… now where did I put those anti-depressants? I knew they were somewhere here… ;J
same thing happened to me. It was kinda bad so i decided i was better off alone. Then i started making new friends. I usually dont tell them until im certain we are friends