As with the others my first comment would be get a second opinion. One thing to ask is how likely they think it is that that your AVM will rupture (I was given a percentage per year). If it is very different talk to the first about what the second is saying. However once you have two or three opinions I’d stop for a bit, rather then going chasing for someone who says they can do the surgery, unless something happens such as you get more symptoms.
First my parents and then I and my parents lived with the knowledge I had an AVM in my brain from when I was about 6 years old. I already had a weakness don the right and bad vision, but that might/might not have been related to a bleed before birth. There were no symptoms it was a chance discovery. When it was discovered the risk of having the surgery was very high, then it reduced but I was 25 before I had the treatment. I was getting some headaches, not serious but constant. I had the treatment (four embolisations then craniotomy and another embolisation).
Taking that decision was very hard and I’m not sure if I would do it again dye to side effects.
If you decide not to have surgery/other treatment it is something you can revisit in the future. Equally if you decide to go ahead you might decide on a particular surgeon, not the one with the first opinion. You may want a short course of therapy to help you think about things with so done neutral as well as talking to friends and family.
One thing I hold on to and believe (mostly depending on the depression) is with this decision you can’t make the “wrong” decision. I don’t mean that the outcome will be positive, it might be negative with bad consequences but either way you took the right decision for you at the date you decided and that’s all you can do. You have to try to get past the “what if…”