After 3 years the AVM isn’t shrinking. I’ve read that 80-90% of them do after stereotactic radiosurgery (SRS), but noooooooooooooooo…not me. I have to be the exception. I mean, I know I’m exceptional, but how come I can’t beat the odds when it comes to winning the lottery? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm? Sounds like Someone’s idea of a practical joke and I am not amused.
August 12th is the day. 6am the Iron Maiden gets screwed to my head, valium is injected (thankfully) and I should be outta there by 3pm. I’m particularly looking forward to the turban around my head as I ride home. I just know I’ll look like Shirley McClaine. Could be worse. I’ll try to get pictures but I am very worried about how that will impact my modeling career should they become broadly published on the web. Ah well. They do say that any press is good press.
Seriously, it’ll be fine, I know. I am more mad than anything else. Mad that this thing is still there. Mad that I have to still worry about it. Mad that it is still impacting my life and those around me. You might say I’ve been fairly crabby lately.
Thanks, in advance, for all the kind thoughts. “Talk” to you soon.
Brian.im sure you will look just as handsome as before during and after, im just so sorry you have to do this again,I remember mine two years ago,its terrible,im hoping your day is not to painful and the halo goes on ok and you get home safe and sound,keep me posted,feel better,we love yaxoxo
Oh Brian, I am so sorry. This REALLY sucks. It didn’t shrink at all? Made me cry.
After mine, I wore sunglasses and told people I’d had some “work”. I wonder why no one asked for my Dr’s name when the shades came off?
Crabby is a good word…kicking something helps a little. Just make sure you have shoes on first.
Seriously, my heart aches for you. My prayers and positive thoughts are with you.
Oh Brian, such terrible news! Your modeling career was so important to you!!! Maybe you can start modeling for hospital related items???
And crabby is fine. It’s hard not to be dissapointed. And who says you shouldn’t be??? As long as that isn’t your constant state of emotion, I can’t imagine it hurts to be upset about something so ugly.
You know I heard about a study recently that swearing is good for your pain. Something about people putting there hands in ice cold water till it hurt. Half the group was allowed to yell out “bad” words, while the other half had to say the PG version of those words, like “sugar,” “fudge,” or "Geez Louise, etc. The ones who got to yell out “F***” or whatever choice word they like, were able to keep their hands in longer than the people using the PG words.
So moral of that story, when you are in a crabby mood just tell people to “f*** off.” It will surely make you feel better! But don’t tell them I told you to do it, don’t want to ruin my “innocent little girl” reputation!!! Cause of course I’ve never said one of those bad words!!
I know exactly how you feel. I will have to also have a 2nd round of radiation in march or April. Its been 2 years and 2 months (just about) since the 1st round. And there has been no change in my avm in a years time. They decided to wait till march for the 2nd round to get the “full affect” of the radiation. Either way i think it blows and i don’t want to do it again. I have also had 2 embolizations as well. So i’m really ready for this thing to be out of my head. I know that i will never be done with all the symptoms it will leave behind but as long as the bomb is gone that’s all i want for now. Good luck on the 12th!!! Andrea
Mad is good. Mad means you’re fighting this stupid crazy condition!!! Grrrrr. Could they answer why it didn’t shrink at all? I don’t understand that. I hope you are okay, Brian and I’m sorry you have to go thru this again.
that sucks Brian, I wish the news was better for you and I understand about the odds but you are exceptional in many many ways! good luck on the 12th my friend will be thinking of you
you have every right to feel crabby and angry and any other emotion and in fact i’m feeling quite crabby now for you too. It was similar for us when we were told that the gamma knife had worked for Jacob but that he had another bigger avm. Thankfully now although he has no right temporal lobe he has no avm either! Having our prayers answered means i can concentrate on praying for you guys in the hope you get the same answer as us. Good luck on the 12th x
Same thing happened to me, Brian. After 3-1/2 years, my treatment (proton beam) didn’t work either. So now I am “exceptional” like you! lol
Good luck on the 12th, Brian. You are in my prayers, my friend!