My turn to be a little complainer!

I try not to let this AVM rule my life, and for the most part I’m a very happy and positive person. But for the last few days I’ve just been so annoyed because this AVM is again controlling me…I hate it!

For those of you who have read my posts here, as well as my personal blog and website, you know that it took me forever for the non-healing wound on my lip to actually heal. And it has only been healed completely for a little more than a month. But ya, it’s back to not being healed. ugh. It isn’t a big deal, not a big area. But I have a scab again on the top of my lip. Didn’t really ever have a “cut” but the tissue was just not happy and over the course of a week it turned into a little wound with a scab. I’m totally keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn’t continue to grow and become a big necrotic mess again!

And to top it off, I’ve been having bleeding from my gums from between my back teeth. It is seriously gross to have bleeding inside your mouth. And exhausting to deal with. It bleeds when I brush my teeth, just randomly at work, when I am eating, and my favorite…when I’m sleeping. Ya, that one is fun. The bleeding isn’t bad yet, it’s more like “oozing” than the scary high flow, spitting blood all over the place, instant panic kind. But of course I’m nervous that it could turn into that kind. Trying not to freak myself out, and of course I know it doesn’t do any good to worry about what “might” happen. But it sucks.

And I’ve only been back to work since mid August, and I definately have a concern that my high stress and long hours are playing a part in these little issues. But what are you going to do? Right?

So there is my little pity pit posting! In the grand scheme of things, I know that these little issues aren’t a big deal. I’ve dealt with much worse, and other people deal with much worse. I just think I was glad to finally feel “normal” again and am so bummed that it didn’t last longer!

Having said all of that, I do go back to Denver this week and am excited because I will be meeting up with Cyndi (another facial AVM lady) for coffee or lunch on Thursday. She flies out and we fly in, so perfect timing to be able to get together. And she always helps to put “things” into perspective for me since her AVM is so similar (and way worse) than mine. When I think of her and what she is dealing with, I always feel guilty for being such a whiney little brat…and guilty for being thankful that mine isn’t as bad as hers!

Anyways! Just needed to get it out there, and of course I am so grateful to even have this place to get it out. I try to avoid posts like this on my personal blog…cause all it does is make family and friends worried. And THAT is just more stress… well meaning, but stressful to deal with their concern!

Thanks for reading…

you know this is the place to whine, we all have to now and then and you must be so p***ed off after taking so long to heal last time Shalon. I’ll be praying to for you missis, take care.

Shalon, thanks for sharing. We all need to get things off our chest but sometimes it doesn’t happen until we read someone else’s post and then get the courage to do the same. Something to keep in mind if you ever feel guilty about “complaining”.

Pity party away, Shalon…we all have our moments of feeling overwhelmed. This is the place to let it out!

Love, Connie

Thanks guys. I’m feeling much better today (of course!) and am less annoyed with everything in general. And typing it out is definately therapeutic. Thanks to my buddy as well for the email.
Ben I like your spin on it. That my compaining is actually a “good” thing cause it might inspire someone else to be able to get it off their chest. So ya, let’s go with that and just pretend that was my intent the entire time! :wink:

But I did actually cause my lip to bleed a little this morning…
For some reason I seem to forget that I’m not actually a doctor and completely unqualified to be poking around with sharp objects! But I was trying to cut away a little at the scab (sounds worse than it is promise!) and I disturbed it too much and all of a sudden I had blood all over the place. Oh well… Note to self- you are NOT a surgeon. Put away the sharp objects!
But thanks again for letting me vent and telling me I’m allowed to!

Oh Shalon. You are such a cutie. I agree with Stacie. You are not complaining and frankly, it is good to hear you ‘b#%h’ a TINY bit! It’s healthy to get stuff out and off your chest and that’s why you felt better! I call them rants and I write them often to my sister!
I hope you heal quick again. Have you tryed all kinds of creams and stuff to get it to heal quicker? If not, let us all give you our favourite products for healing! OR is it just the nature of the AVM treatment that is continues to open up?

Hello Shalon . I read and re-read your little complainer pity post and am stunned . You are one of the most optomistic , level headed , good natured positive and forward looking - "good-hearted " complainers . It has been my (mixed) pleasure to read your pity post . I wish that there was no reason for your trials and tribulations or for your worries and woes .
Still , here you are , all strength , courage and wisdom (Yes miss, wisdom) and I am in awe of you . I hope the days been good as it can be . A safe and enjoyable Denver trip I wish for you and enjoy your buddy and the coffee . You are in my prayers . Be good to you . Take care of you .

I am in awe of you too. You’re a gift to this world. Don’t ever forget that.

Joy & Marianne- thanks for the posts and the kind words. I appreciate it!!! I am feeling better, emotionally. Physically I’m having a tough day. Bled for no reason while getting ready this morning, and then again at work…no fun! But, I’ll be in Denver in two days and then I can say “Fix me!”

I hope you are feeling better today. You truly are an inspiration. And certainly allowed to vent as much as you want. Keep your head up. Remember you told me you like your shoes! lol So put em back on and smile.

Ha ha ha!! Sherri- you are absolutley correct! I did tell you I like my shoes and wouldn’t really trade them. Thanks for reminding me. And maybe THAT is the answer…new shoes are needed! I mean really, who can still be bummed out with a pair of cute new high heels??? I may just have to go shopping tomorrow night and treat myself to some! :slight_smile:

When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping! lol

Very well said Shalon

shalon…what does one say…your a picture of happiness with all you have been through! your so brave and beautiful…and such a lovely girl! you have inspired me and this is only my first day on this website…however i feel that ive gotten strength from you…your so positive! wishing you the best in denver!! ya know its such a hard thing to live with…this avm thingy…like the one in my brain…however…your strength and stamina and faith will help see you through this! oh yes and not to mention the people that really understand and care and that is us! thank you for sharing your story…its remarkable! hopefully some day the drs will be confronted with newer knowledge and ways to help us all!! your the best! thank you for touching my life! : )

ps did i tell you that you are a picture of happiness!!! you shine in all of your pictures! thanks again for sharing!

Shalon it’s about time you let thinmgs out a little…

Hi Shalon! I’m Grady’s mom and we just joined the site today – the bleeding you describe is all too familiar and I was the one with a sharp object clipping pieces of skin on Grady’s lip that had dried and peeled. I tried to prevent him from picking it at and I too would unintentionally make his lip bleed. We just returned from Houston where Grady had an embo with alcohol and Bleomycin. Hope the selling subsides and he heels well, so he can enjoy the summer. Thanks for the site and your blogs – very good to commiserate with a group of people who have shared experiences.