I try not to let this AVM rule my life, and for the most part I’m a very happy and positive person. But for the last few days I’ve just been so annoyed because this AVM is again controlling me…I hate it!
For those of you who have read my posts here, as well as my personal blog and website, you know that it took me forever for the non-healing wound on my lip to actually heal. And it has only been healed completely for a little more than a month. But ya, it’s back to not being healed. ugh. It isn’t a big deal, not a big area. But I have a scab again on the top of my lip. Didn’t really ever have a “cut” but the tissue was just not happy and over the course of a week it turned into a little wound with a scab. I’m totally keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn’t continue to grow and become a big necrotic mess again!
And to top it off, I’ve been having bleeding from my gums from between my back teeth. It is seriously gross to have bleeding inside your mouth. And exhausting to deal with. It bleeds when I brush my teeth, just randomly at work, when I am eating, and my favorite…when I’m sleeping. Ya, that one is fun. The bleeding isn’t bad yet, it’s more like “oozing” than the scary high flow, spitting blood all over the place, instant panic kind. But of course I’m nervous that it could turn into that kind. Trying not to freak myself out, and of course I know it doesn’t do any good to worry about what “might” happen. But it sucks.
And I’ve only been back to work since mid August, and I definately have a concern that my high stress and long hours are playing a part in these little issues. But what are you going to do? Right?
So there is my little pity pit posting! In the grand scheme of things, I know that these little issues aren’t a big deal. I’ve dealt with much worse, and other people deal with much worse. I just think I was glad to finally feel “normal” again and am so bummed that it didn’t last longer!
Having said all of that, I do go back to Denver this week and am excited because I will be meeting up with Cyndi (another facial AVM lady) for coffee or lunch on Thursday. She flies out and we fly in, so perfect timing to be able to get together. And she always helps to put “things” into perspective for me since her AVM is so similar (and way worse) than mine. When I think of her and what she is dealing with, I always feel guilty for being such a whiney little brat…and guilty for being thankful that mine isn’t as bad as hers!
Anyways! Just needed to get it out there, and of course I am so grateful to even have this place to get it out. I try to avoid posts like this on my personal blog…cause all it does is make family and friends worried. And THAT is just more stress… well meaning, but stressful to deal with their concern!
Thanks for reading…