My Daddy is driving me nuts

My father has an addiction problem. He is on suboxone at this time. He has other health issues which complicate things. So when he starts acting "strange" it is hard to tell if he has ran out of Suboxone or if it is a medical problem. He has COPD and diabetes. His oxygen level is usually 85%-89% on room air. So that could affect his mental state. He has panic attacks also. It seems that when it is like a week before he goes back to his doctor whom he sees monthly to get his prescription, he starts to act like someone who is in withdrawal. He always tries to lay it to something else. When he starts being coherent he denies that he was in withdrawal. When he is like this he goes to sleep standing up. Wonders all over the house during the night. Falls and hurts himself. But he says, "I'm ok. I wasn't asleep. Just resting my eyes." So here is the dilemma, what can I do when this happens again? I tried keeping his medication away from him and giving him daily doses. But he becomes hostile and irritable, and says "you don't understand", ect. A few times I thought he might actually hit me. We had a situation about a week ago when he was this way. He had just gotten out of the hospital after only being there 2 days. He took himself this time. He was having trouble breathing, panic attacks. I had worked that day and was unaware that he had went anywhere. I asked my husband and he said he had went to town to see if he could get anything for his breathing. He went to the ER and they gave him some ativan that calmed him down. That's the only reason he stayed. There is so much more to tell. He has been in trouble with the law. He is on probation right now. He has always been one that thinks it is ok to take things if you have a prescription. So he ran out of Loracet, so he goes and buys some. He was so addicted to those pills, taking up to 30 a day according to him. The strong ones. That is why he is on suboxone now. My husband thinks he is probably getting suboxone from someone else when he runs out before the end of the month, which would make sense because he doesn't do this every month, just some months. Probably when he can't get them from someone. He was driving me to work when my husband couldn't but I have just started driving again because I would be more likely to wreck with him driving me than me driving myself. I was going to be cleared to drive next month anyway. But the fact remains that this will happen again. We are scared that he will burn the house down, fall and bust his head open, break a hip, ect. We live with him with our 2 boys. No one can be with him all the time. I was going to call DFCS the other day because I couldn't take it anymore. I was at work when daddy was having one of his days and my husband called me telling me all of the stuff he was doing. I couldn't function after worrying about it. I couldn't remember what I was doing, what I had or hadn't done. I work with a blood donation organization. I can not make mistakes. I felt like I was about to have a seizure from worry. Couldn't get my words out, ect. I just decided after that, that I was through with him. What happens happens. If he falls and cracks his head open, or wrecks, what ever... I do care what happens to him even if I wanted to try and make myself believe that. I have to much to be worried about with my own health than to worried about what he is or isn't doing. It is starting to affect my marriage and relationship with my children. I can handle stuff when it is my problem, but when you throw something else in there like my daddy's issues, I can't handle it, plus work, and family. Sorry, just had to vent. Glad I can do it here. Maybe someone can sympathize with me or maybe let them know that others have the same problems to deal with.

Melissa, I definitely sympathize with you. You’re a good person who’s trying to help her father. You’ve got your hands full with an AVM. If he’s doing things to jeopardize you and your family, they have to come first. You mentioned calling DFCS. It’s not easy, but sometimes tough love is the best - even for a parent.

Melissa, first you must put you and your family ahead of your Dad. An AVM is quite enough to deal with without having a person addicted to drugs part of the scene. Does he live with you? From what you wrote, I assumed he does live with you. Are you his only child? If not, can your siblings help you out and take him for awhile? He should just be on the dose of suboxone the doctor gives him, and nothing else. He us defeating the purpose for taking the suboxone. As I understood it from a friend whose son was on it, you have to go to a counselor when you take suboxone. And the point is to eventually stop the suboxone, too. You need to get help somehow for him. You can always call the doctor who gives him the suboxone, instead of Children and Family Services. See what happens then. You could tell him he has to leave, but that is tough to do. It may be that DCFS is where you must go for help. Don't try and wait this out because he won't get better alone. And he is hurting you or at least he is affecting you in ways you should not be affected now.