now that i am recovering to a point where I am somewhatmobie and independant again, I am still Verydependant on my parents for transportation and finances, previously, I was fiercely independant. Although I hope and strive to recover cmpletely, I feel an abundant sense of mourning for these ‘forgotten’ years that will eclipse my recovery process…any suggestions on what to do with this? If however, my husband wouldn’t have baled and divorced me–because–he “didn’t sign up for all this” i tend to think te mourning wouldn’t be as severe!Sigh. how do I get happy again?

hi there, sounds like u r in a serious deppression, and why not!? An AVM does not often make us feel better. So what to do? Have u talked to a psychologist? If its been many years, then it maybe worth talking again. If you are feeling to low, perhaps theres a hobby or something u can try? A group, in the local area?

I understand your sense of “mourning” completely. I lived in three houses, built two, had a career, (yes even went through a divorce) and now find myself living with my elderly parents. I even had a “caretaker” after the AVM surgery say the same thing to me…verbatim… It sucks…no qualms about that. Perhaps you can focus on the people that love you and it sounds like you can start with your family. Forget those that left. People have a funny way of showing their true colors when push comes to shove. Also don’t underestimate the people on this site and the love, prayers and support you get here. The suggestion for therapy is a good one and only meant to help. Best of luck and a warm hug to you!

Hi Nicole…Hang in there…I had my brain bleed in 2007 and although it took time, I was able to accept my challanges and that I need support from my daughter. Have you talked to Lesley from Australia…she went through the exact same situation with her husband…she would be a great friend who would understand. Also, at this point in my recovery, I went for therapy and was put on medication, which really helped! Keep the Faith, Nicole…it will get better! Stay in touch and I here for you whenever you need a friend.

Thanks for the kind reply, yes, Lesley and i have chatted about the husband thing! Its not so much that I am love-sick or lost without him. Frankly, I am mostly disappointed in his lack of committment and support! we had a family with 6 beutiful children (Catholics:) and that is my greatest burden! he couldn’t hang in there, so he took the 2 oldest sons, and moved me and my daughters out to my retired parentsWELL GOOD RIDDANCE!! My good friend told me “Nicole, you Will get better, and He will always be an asshole”! Blunt, but it gives me humor! Sorry to be a downer, must be time for lunch or caffeine! Thanks again for the support! This Group Rocks!

Thank you, yes Lesley is a friend!