So, I want to get input from the individual and collective wisdom of the group. This follows up on the post that Merl wrote and the one that I wrote about how I suck at asking for help let alone even admitting that I need it.
A couple of thoughts - to me there are two different types of help - professional and personal. I have no problem asking for professional help - Doctor, PA, RN, PT, SLP, psychiatrist, Counselor - they are in the business of helping, so I have no issue telling them, “this is what is happening and I need help with that.”
It’s the personal ones that I have more of a problem. Asking my 17 year old to do something because I can’t. Not getting everything done that my wife wanted because my headaches and brain fog were too bad that day. Those type of things. That’s where the problem lies.
So here’s an idea I want input on from you all before I approach my better half with it. I’m thinking I want to approach her and say basically that I want to work up a great big “activities” list. All things that would need to be done at home, or running errands or whatever. Not all done today - but a collection of possible ones.
Then we’d go through that list and classify them all either as “can’t do that at all”. “Can do with help”, “can do it but it will take longer” and “can do it like normal.”
We’d go through and eventually agree with how to classify each thing. And then we’d have a working list so she knows if something she’s asking me to do is something I can do or something I can’t and if I can, do I need another set of hands with it or can I do it myself? Even simple things - like, she’ll come home from work and mention, “I switched Sunday’s shift with next Friday so I can hear Isaac’s gospel choir on Sunday.” To her, that’s enough of a “reminder” for me to change it on my calendar. It’s not.
Hopefully that would help mis communications - confusion and hurt feelings?
Tell me what you think,