Let go, let god……

What if one day God takes away the precious things on your life; your career, health, comforts in life? How would you react?
It did happen to me all at the same time. It was year 2004, a week after my 30th birthday when at the middle of a special number performed before our congregation for our Church anniversary in Singapore. I felt a sudden numbness on my left face and my voice became very weak. My churhcmates who noticed my unusual movements came hurriedly at the exit stage to check my condition, giving me first-aid thinking that I just felt dizzy. I felt a lightness on my left body and I only gave them a blank stare. Since my condition had not improved, they decided to bring me to a nearby hospital. The doctor who examined me after some series of tests (All my vital signs are normal) told that they found a blood clot on my right-side brain. I had a “BRAIN STROKE”. I was paralyzed from my left shoulder down to my left foot. I also had problem with my left sight and on my left face.
The diagnose… “Brain stroke” was like a bomb fell rightly before my face. I cannot move my left body, it was the first time I was hospitalized, and my family was in the Philippines.
My first night at the hospital, I had my endless cry and earnestly prayed to God to provide me just a portion of His strength and asked Him if He can only move any part of my left body. I don’t know if it’s only my imagination, I felt a movement on my left foot. I really thanked God.
Later, together with my aunt who accompanied me, I was transferred to Philippines when the doctor agreed that I could have my operation back home. I had an brain-open surgery at UST Hospital. I was diagnosed having an arteriovenous malformation (AVM) in the right side of my brain. According from my surgeons, Brain AVMs are congenital, It is not hereditary, cancerous or infectious. Brain AVM contains abnormal development of blood vessels since birth and because they are not built as strongly as the normal blood vessels, they are more prone to bleeding.
Five years had passed… I always recall “my trial” with smile and tears of joy for His faithfulness to my life. I’m really blessed for God has given me wonderful family and friends who encouraged me with their prayers, financial support and most specially their love and concern which are my source of strength on my way to recovery.
Let Go, Trust and Believe that became my guiding principle. Let go all of your fears and worries. Hold on to His promises. Trust and believe that God will make everything beautiful in His time. It’s not the amount of faith in me that heals me, its His abundant love and grace that saved and comforted me.
I realized it doesn’t matter if things didn’t go the way we wanted to for our lives, for I can trust in my God whose thoughts are higher than my thoughts, whose ways are higher than my ways. If I could live my life over, I wouldn’t change anything. This incident has allowed me to grow so much as a person.
It’s a privilege sharing my story and I believe that others can be encouraged who might be on a similar situation. Never give up HOPE.

Thanks for sharing your story, Abby. Who would have thought at “30” that you would be having a stroke. What a shock that must have been.
You are so right in that whatever happens to us is God’s will and we need to always find those things to be thankful for in the midst of all the fear and shock. It is definitely not what we would choose for our lives but it is one of the trials that has been given to us so we must go on and appreciate life. It does change everything and how you look at life for sure.
Take care, Abby. I’m so glad you have family to help you thru it all.

reading your blog has brought tears to my eyes…i always believed God gave me this journey because he knew i was strong enough to get through…God gives these challenges to those he believes will get through and will be able to help others in the future…i too believe i am a much better person since i started this journey…i have developed many new qualities…and i really like the new me

Hi Abby, at some point in my life after the brain surgery I prayed and asked God why, but I later realized that if it had to be someone in my family, why not me. I won’t wish none of this on any of my family members. I eventually realize that God knew that I would strive and succeed without crumbling under pressure, eventhough I once gave up one day, but I’m just glad that I’m here eventhough I have a lot on my plate, I must deal with it. I’ve to appreciate God and the people around me. I try to find good in every one now, even if they don’t appear to be great people to be around. I figure maybe they just need to live a little so they can experience and get wiser so as to appreciate what’s around them, because yesterday is gone, do what we can today, pray and hope for a better tomorrow!

I think God uses this for us to get our attention. Even though we think were on point I think many times God will use us to get the attention of some near us.
To often we take life for granted.
With out our Health and God we have nothing.
A person with their Health is a very wealthy person.
We all know Illness doesn’t care how wealthy you are.
I grateful what we have can be taken care of for the most part with an operation and not some garbage like chemo.
Gods not done with you yet.

Inspirational post, thanks Abby.

What a story. Thank you for sharing it. It brought tears to my eyes. Your story has made me look at things a little different and try not to be bitter. Thank you.

Thank you Abby for your story. Inspirational, humbling, comforting and very true. Thank you, Chris x

thank you for that story it brought tears and goose bumps to me.

Im new on this page that thank god im in it. Reading your story made relized that I have to be thankfull that Im a survivor…I was an denial That how could this happend to me … BUt now I see God give me this oppotunity to continue with life and enjoy my baby and family… My avm started last year on 11-26-08 plus I have a aneurysm behind left eye… I had a crationomy done on 04_11-08. But I went back weeks later and the doctor stated that veins were reforming on the same place that there first avm was removed… I need to have another procedure (radiation) I was really sad. BUt thanks to this web side…I now that im not alone on this journey.