"Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in."

The BIG hospital bill has finally caught up to me. I didn't know what I was doing in the hospital pre and post surgery, I didn't sign anything establishing a payment plan for my bills, I was scared of what I was signing in my jacked up, doped up, morphine state. So I signed nothing, I passed up some good deals, but I was scared they were tricking me. I had no idea what I was doing, I remember virtually nothing and no family members were ever around to help me out. The hospital harassed me and hated me, the collection agency hated me and wouldn't set up a payment plan for some reason and wouldn't accept $100,000 CASH to pay off the $215k bill!!! They are SHARKS; they inflated the bill 100% because I had no insurance!! Good times!

I had a year and a half reprieve from it all, trying to gt my life back together, trying to maybe start my "career" again, but it ain't gonna happen. I had some plans before this all hit, but I kept forgetting them, I'm not great when you stack up a bunch of things to remember in an uncertain order and then add some stress into the mix, too. I completely forgot the plans, nobody reminded me, all I needed was a gentle reminder of things needed to be done. I thought looking for a job was my biggest worry. HA!

Now I'm moving back to Arizona to declare bankruptcy. I can't do it here in California or I will lose my grandparents' house in AZ, the house where I grew up. But by moving out of California, I will lose my health insurance! To get back on the same program in AZ, I have to go without insurance for 6 months, which coincides with the time I hsould be getting a follow-up MRI... And the AZ state insurance for po' people, AHCCCS, has had budget cuts and rarely accepts single people without kids, and most famously, denied some sick people organ transplants a year or so ago due to "cost-cutting measures". Those people died. Sigh. I REALLY hate Arizona. I NEVER wanted to live there again, but here I am heading back there for the 5th or 6th time in my life. Failure after failure, I head back there with my tail between my legs, usually it's to open arms and hugs and a place to call home, but not this time. Those times are all dead and buried. In the Godfather the guy says, "Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in." That's exactly how I feel right now.

So, I gotta hurry up and pack up all my stuff and move out of state, I have to live 3 months in AZ before I can declare bankruptcy before the collection agency and the courts possibly start pulling money out of my bank accounts, which is the only thing keeping me afloat. Oh and I have to somehow attend a wedding in New York during all this, witha flight leaving out of San Diego when I should be living in Arizona by that time... This is all too much to think about and worry about, so I sit here and stare at my garden that I'll never see again and the cute little pink house I'd made into a home, my first real place, I had such high hopes when I moved here. Now I probably won't leave Arizona ever again. HA!

Breathe deep. Take a moment to call the hospital and tell them you can paay them but only a certain amount a month. I went through the same thing as I have a $5000 deductible every year so I am up to $15,000 right now. I have the help of The Brain Injury Assc. here in town and a group called Community Futures that helps me with papaer work as all the frustrations you have I have. I have a Neuro Pyscologist and she helps me with finding the assistance I need outside of her office. Not many understand our "changes" and when you find profesionals who do it is a releif. I hope this helps.

I know it does not help much, but I am so sorry to hear that. Praying.