well here it is 10 months later from my wife's embolization and 4 hospitals latter. my wife is back to school full time and back to work part time. last month for about two weeks she has 2 jobs part time and going to school full time. well she let one job go. she still hasnt been able to get on here and veiw what you folks are going through and consider herself that lucky that she came out pretty lucky. i myself have been dealing with a major depression issue that reserfaced itself strongly since all the hospital ordeal. i am in my second stay in an outpatient stay at the hospital for it. as of now my wife and i are cohapitating but labled seperated. she is stressed out bc of me and what i have done and how i am overwelming her with my condition. she went through hell with her avm and wants to live a great life from here on out, and if i dont get myself in check, without me. although i feel it may be too late and the only reason i am still living with her is bc i have no where else to go. i am soo deeply in love with her still. but i think she has had it with me and my anger and my yelling and my uncontrolable emotions.< this might be for a different website> im not sure if it is all over or just over for now. she may have given up on us. i heard somewhere to thank god for everything in your life even your pain because you have to go through the pain to experience and appreciate the happiness and love. i really feel like we were ment to grow old and grey together with a good sized family. but now i dont know. my wife now is on 500mg am and pm dose kepra only. and calcium vitamins. she has head aches when she is tired or stressed or chewing gum only on the side where the avm was. her doctor now says she must go and get another angiogram this summer she is scared of not waking up from. but even though her original cathiter was glued in her brain and left behind from the embolization she tries to live with it and deal with it. i just pray it aint to late to fulfill my life's dream of having a lil daughter, growing old with, buying a housewith, and having a beautiful life with my wife angelica. i fear it may be too late due to the actions and words ive done in the past. please pray for me for serenity and peace.
thank you for all your support and help folks.
I’m saying the following prayer on your behalf today:
O, Lord Jesus. I know that you love me and I know that you died on the cross out of your love for me. But I cannot feel that love, Jesus, because my heart is so full of pain and hurt. I have become a silent weeper with a hard shell around my heart to keep out any more pain. I know the shell is locking out your love for me too and I want so much to feel your love. So tonight, Lord Jesus, I offer to you all my pain and sorrow, my anger and hurt. You carried the heavy wooden cross to Calvary to set me free from sin…will you not carry my pains to free me from my silent weeping? I give them to you as a gift and I trust you to heal me. In doing so, I forgive all those who have caused me pain, anger, hurt, or sorrow and I ask forgiveness for anyone that I have hurt or sorrowed.
Thank you for loving and healing me.
- I hope this finds you well and know that what you’re going through right now is connected to a bigger plan. The frustrating thing for all of us is that we do not know what that greater plan is or where it will take us.
Sorry you are going through all of this. I struggle with depression myself, and I know it’s not easy. What helps me is that I try to find something good about the day I am having, and that usually helps. And sometimes when things are going really bad, I feel God sends someone to help. For instance, I’ve been waiting for weeks to get a doctor to look at my latest MRI, and things keep happening to delay everything. I got really discouraged, so I thought that I could go to a restaurant nearby work for dinner. I ran into a couple of my friends. One of them happened to be a nurse. We had a really good conversation concerning my AVM. She knew a lot more about AVMs than many other medical personnel, including doctors, that I have encountered. My decision to go there was last moment, and the place was unusually busy. If it hadn’t been busy, my friends probably would have already left before I got there.
I’ve already said a prayer for you and Angelica. May God give both of you strength through this difficult time.
hey there bud, AVMS are hard to deal with my wife crumbled when the stress got hard we have come a long way in th last year and are doing much better now even though it is going to get hard financially with in a month or so. I had depression when I first got out and turned to the bible for answers I read it every day and watched joyce meyers on TV. Be patient and calm with your wife it takes a lot more work to rebuild a marrage then it does to destroy one. hope I helped