“It’s only a matter of time…”
I’ve said that to so many people, it’s only a matter of time. Given how I spend a large portion of my day feeling off balance, it’s only a matter of time before I fall.
It’s actually a matter of two times. One was August 28, 2019 (I remember that date because it was the morning of my social security appeal) and my alarm went off and while laying in bed, my right arm got tangled in my sheets and “fell asleep.” And that’s the side of the bed my alarm is on. So, in my half asleep but very astute mind, I take my left arm, all the way over and half way roll over so I could reach the alarm. And in the process, I fall out of bed and not only land on the floor, but my left eye took a good solid bam! In the corner of the night stand. So, the first time I fell, I fell out of bed and gave myself a black eye the morning of the Social Security Disability hearing. My attorney said that I should win the award for, oh, I don’t know, something…
Today is time two. My wife and I are on a little get away that had all kinds of possibilities in a pre-covid world but ended up being in a quaint 120 year old Air Bnb in the foothills of the Appalachian mountains. 3 days here, then two days visiting our daughter in Columbus and then home. We’ve done some hiking by caves and waterfalls and some really beautiful scenery. The ground has been very solid but no the very level and I did it all cautiously but didn’t fall at all. Today after a day out wandering and relaxing, we stopped at the local winery recommended by the owner. We bought the “flight” to sample 8 different types. Between when they came and when we started, I was going to go sit on the other side of the table so that my wife could get a selfie of both of us. I moved the chair out 2 inches and that put on leg off into the dirt and wood chips and down and over it went. And over I went and suddenly, on the patio at the Winery, there’s this guy who is falling off his chair, knocking his chair over and attracting all kinds of attention that he didn’t want.
I managed to get up. With a relatively small scratch in the left knee, with a good old bleeder on the right knee and a pride that’s rather banged up at the moment. There could not have been a more awkward time in the first three days of our vacation for me to fall down like I was drunk than BEFORE I started drinking. Geez…
So, the first time, hit my head gave me a black eye.
Second time, fell off my chair before having my first drink at a winery.
What to do for an encore?