Hey all - so this was bouncing around in my brain today and I thought I’d share it. So here goes……
If you look back (maybe one of our fearless leaders can link to it) I wrote a post where I was discussing some doctors appts and the fact that my neuro-psych doc said that there’s a very good chance that some of my “head issues” could be “head issues” rather than blood flow/nerve-damage type of issues. Stress/anxiety/depression - anyone around here ever heard of those?
What? I’m the only one, dang……
Yeah, right. So this last week has been busy. A lot of family stuff going on (we’ll leave it at that) and there has been a lot to do and very little chance to have the “peace and quiet” that is needed to keep the headaches at a moderate level.
And it all kind of came tumbling down today. Not crashing, just sort of a slip down a few feet of the side of a muddy ditch kind of day. As my wife and I were talking about it, I said something that I thought I would share with you all. When I’m feeling down and feeling like things are too much, I feel like everyone is mad at me even though I know they aren’t.
I feel like everyone is mad at me. Yeah, there are a lot of times that’s true.
Even though I know they aren’t. Once again, true. My brain knows something but the way I feel tells me something else.
I know that everyone isn’t mad at me. I didn’t survive working 22 years in the mortgage lending world by having everyone mad at me. I would not have survived.
But it often feels that way.
So now what? Well, don’t they say that naming the struggle is half of the way to solving it?
So, I need to figure out, when people say things that I think might be mean, grumpy or something like that, how can I slow down, think about the whole picture, ask questions to figure out what is really going on.
And at the same time, work with my psychiatrist and my counselor to help figure out what we can do to make it so I don’t feel that way.
It’s a journey. Not an easy one.
But as much as we’d like to take Robert Frost’s “other road,” this is the road we’re on.
It’s easier together.