Isnt your family suppose to support you?

I need to vent. My grandmother is a pretty negative person & really i didnt expect alot from her but what I got today just set me off. She calls me with some stupid question & I gave her an answeer. She then priceeds to tell me I don’t havr to be so short. I wasnt tryn to be but the pain is pretty bad today & i told her that. She then told me life goes on & i need to get over it. I know that i look fine but im not. I am having troublr seeing, speaking, walking, & am in pain 99% of the time not to mention scared as hell. Why is it that i am not able to just put her out of my mind? I havr cut myself off from other family because of the way they have acted & things thry have said & I can do that now also & that doesnt bother me. The way she acted just makes me so mad because it feels like what i am goung through is nothing! This is also the same woman who told me she had never heard of what the doctors were saying so it wasnt real. How do you become so cold & ignorant towards others especially your own family? Thank you for listening.

Is it possible for your "family" members to visit this site and read about the struggles of AVM Survivors ?
Here is a "link" that may help.
I cannot help with pre-conceived notions of others or attempt to change one's perspective of a given situation.
However,...I can give you a quote:
"The mind is like a parachute,...It only works when it's,...OPEN"
Mariah,...good luck with your family, know that you have my sympathy and empathy.

Your friend,..


Mariah....There are people who will NEVER understand...Stay drives them crazy!

Thanks William. She wouldn’t look at it if I tried. She would rather jist be hateful towards people. It is sad. thank you for the link though because there are some family I can give it to.

Thanks I am tryn.

My friends really disappointed me, Mariah. Turns out that people you thought could--or would--handle it, don't. What I do is try to forgive them and remember that it's not that they don't care about me, it's that serious illness/injury is scary-- and it's that they're reacting to, not me.

I've also found people who are supportive--and they're the most unlikely people. So, you never know.

Hi Mariah - if it helps at all, plenty on here have experienced this shocker. As someone on here stated, it's a suprise both for those who let you down and for those who get your back.

Stay strong.

Yeah its amazing me who asks about me & who pretends it doesn’t exist.

Thanks. It is really a shock.

I think many, if not most of us have experienced this at some time. For me the worst was when I was still in the hospital recovering from the bleed. My father came and was so negative. He just figured my life was over so no point in trying to go through rehab. My husband made him leave and I'm so glad he did. When you're going through something like this you don't need any negativity. Like the old song says "you've got to accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative. Latch on to the affirmative and don't mess with Mr. Inbetween" (ok, it's a really old song, but trust exists!)

Wow I’m so sorry that your father acted that way. Yes I know the song & your right it made me feel worse yesterday after dealing with her. I won’t be able to avoid her completely because she goes to all my boys stuff but I am going to the rest of the time. Thanks for sharing.

Hi Mariah. Some people are just Negative Nellies. I think their motto is…We are not happy until you are not happy. For whatever it is worth…you just joined a family of over 4200 AVM Survivors. We understand your situation!

Thanks Barbara. She is that for sure! It’s great to know that I have people that understand & that I can talk to.

I love it Trish one of the best songs! I have it on my Andrew Sisters CD!!! :) Deff words to live by Mariah!!! Stay positive and it WILL be ok!!


This is your "other family" now,...that understands,...offers sympathy & empathy, advice, suggestions, and above all,...truly cares for you in all areas of your AVM life. There is someone here 24/7, ready and willing to help you in what ever ways we can.
We all have strong shoulders and good ears, lean on us, talk to us.
We may not have the "right" answers all the time, but,..we are here for you.

Your friend,..


You say it is your grandmother. Could be he generation gap. She has lived through a war or two. The older generations are tougher. They had to be.
She probably doesn't fully understand.

I think one thing almost everyone on this site has in common is the discovery of the ignorance and negativity they had been surrounded by their entire lives. I think everyone has had very similar experiences with what you're going through. My sister told me I was "milking" my stroke...while I was in inpatient rehab only weeks after my stroke. We don't talk anymore LOL. I agree with what someone else posted, just stay positive and it will irritate whoever is trying to pull you down this time or next time... This is also a time in your life where focusing on YOU isn't being selfish.

OH Mariah,
I am so sorry for you! You have a friend in me sweetie! dont listen to people with that attitude..they will only bring you down..further! I know its bad enough already. I felt that way with a couple of my doctors. They werent just plain 'mean' like that but they didnt act like they believed my pain or my anxiety.
I hope we can be friends! You can talk, holler, cuss and scream and cry on my shoulder.. Im here for ya :)

Hi Mariah
so sorry to hear not not having much support from your family, and I understand how you feel, others will always say she is doing so well but im actually thinking to myself i am not feeling that great at all but what I have to try to remember is that others do not know how i am feeling unless I tell them and because they are not living with the condition day to day they forget, it is kind of like grieving they never actually forget what happened but they get over it and move on where as it is not so easy for you because you are still stuck in whats happening right now. Venting is great and I do it a lot just because stuff builds up and I know i can get support and reassurance from people who actually know what im going through.
Keep your chin up hun tomorrow will be a better day and if you are anything like me my memory is shot to pieces so give it a week and I will have forgotten about it besides I think the cold & ignorance from your grand mother may be the only way she knows how to deal with it, like pretending it didn't happen because she cant face the truth of how ill you really are xxxx

My dear Mariah everyone has had similar experiences with what you're going through ... I had friends who disappeared ... and also relatives such us cousins .... protect yourself ... help yourself ... stay strong and smile ... tomorrow will be a better day my friend.
Dont forget you are not alone ... you have this wonderful site which is full of helpfull people
... your big family.
I am here for you my dear friend ... many many kisses