I’m trying to stay upbeat, I really am, but it’s getting harder and harder. Last week it was verified that not only do I have hearing damage, I also have vestibular damage in my left ear. That explains why I feel like I’m riding on a boat all of the time. Well, not all but most.
Met with speech pathology people yesterday and they said they think they can make some progress with my vocal cord paralysis - but I’m not sure i believe them. I got the very strong feeling that they are saying that because they don’t want to be the ones to say, “Sorry, bud, you’re out of luck, nothing we can do.”
So where does that leave me?
- Any time I’m with more than one person at a time, my head hurts and I feel wobbly.
- If I’m in a larger crowd, I can’t hear much in terms of conversations and if my head doesn’t hurt then, it will as soon as I leave.
- Stimulation - noise, visual, stress all make the noise in my head and the pain in my head go way up and it goes up a lot faster than it goes down.
- People have a hard time understanding me - which gets worse if there is background noise or if I’ve been talking for more than 10 minutes.
The vestibular rehab people (and my daughter - a doctor of nursing practice) recommended that I get in to see a neurologist about the headaches. So, my ENT doc is sending a referral over - but it will most likely be a 6 to 12 month wait for an appointment. In reality, right now, the only place I feel good is when I’m alone and writing in a quiet place.
So my questions are these…
How do you keep good relationships with family (wife and kids particularly) when it causes you pain and makes everyone less tolerant?
How do you turn someone who was, at the least, a moderate extrovert into an introvert? I really feel isolated but a big part of me wants to put up a detached garage with an office and get a big dog that doesn’t shed and doesn’t bark - and spend my time out there, just me and the dog, writing and doing other things where no one can bother me and I don’t have to hear them.
What’s a guy to do?