I'm amazed

Once again, I want to thank you all for your support through not only this last week but this last year and frankly I think I’ve been on here for over a decade. You all are worth my weight in gold. (And my weight is heavy enough, thank you…)

I thought I’d send out a quick update on how things are on TJ’s side of the fence. Things are…


I ,




It is amazing how incredibly tired you get when you have anesthesia. Especially general anesthesia and especially twice in one week. If I got $5 for every time Ive fallen asleep during the day in the last three days, I could send Richard a nice case of brew pubs (or send him down the street and let him pick them out…)

Seriously, absolutely exhausted and the headaches are higher than normal, but they are just at or just above the normal “high end” of the range, so frankly, something I’ve gotten used to.

One day at a time and as you move forward or even attempt to stay in the same place, don’t forget to look around and remember that what you do and what you say can have a bigger impact on others than you can imagine.



Tired? Personally I’d go a step further and simply go to absolutely exhausted and the follow on headaches only add to the load. Managing it all is no simple ‘walk in the park’. You state “something I’ve gotten used to”, and yea, you do get used to a level of pain, but that post surgery headache is like no other. I just want to rip my eyeballs out with a teaspoon. The pain… …just WOW. Intense.

“…don’t forget to look around and remember that what you do and what you say can have a bigger impact on others than you can imagine.” Ouch, ain’t that the truth. I try to show my appreciation of those around me, but when I’m in agony my focus, my tolerances and my acceptance tend to evaporate. Sometimes it’s the little things that send me over the edge. The person involved may have done very little at all, but my cup overfloweth. That word ‘Sorry’ has become the mainstay of my vocabulary, I don’t think there’s a day go by where I don’t have to say ‘Sorry’ to someone. Tsk. As I’ve sure I’ve said before ‘At times I don’t know how (or why) my wife puts up with me…’

TJ, it’s fantastic to see you back but now is a time to look after you, as only you know your level of pain. We can try to analyse it, explain it, express it but the realities of it all can be far more shocking than words can explain. Now is a time to be a little bit selfish, now is a time to look after self.

Take care my friend.
Merl from the Modsupport Team

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@TJ127 Wow Two in a week you are amazing- I think I would of thrown a fit, Well I know I would of just said no way. See you in a month or two,
You are a trooper. Get some rest and I hope you have some great comfort food.
I hope your headaches are gone soon

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I am looking after myself. My wife makes sure of that. Seriously, your description of the headaches is spot on for every time I’ve had this “except for this week.” This week, they went up but no where near that level. Tylenol during the day, something stronger at night (my head doesn’t want to be horizontal - good thing our new king size bed has adjustments for that) and then I’m okay. Not great, but good enough for now.

Interesting thing, M (I still like the James Bond “letter” code names) is that part of the way I look after me is by writing and sharing and telling my story. There is something about writing that energizes me and so you might look at it as “there goes TJ putting others before himself.” Well, that’s part of it, but a large part of it is that when TJ is sharing his writing and sharing his experiences, that helps TJ feel better too.

Speaking of “shocking” - I’m not telling anyone besides my wife and my daughter (she has her doctorate in pediatric nursing practice) that they put so much Onyx in my head and neck this time that they could smell it on Thursday from the Monday procedure and I am pretty sure I could smell it this morning too. Oh and I’ll tell you all too…

Thank you for a note that warmed my soul.




Yesterday was Father’s Day here in the States (it’s too late at night to look up and remember where you are). Dad gets to pick the menu for dinner…

Homemade Lasagna
Cheesy breadsticks
Peanut Butter Pie and Homemade strawberry pie

Yeah, there was comfort food. And it worked. :slight_smile:



:smile: Don’t they though. Mine watches me like a hawk, she comes and checks I’m not overdoing it (again) Mine’s for ever reminding me ‘See, I told you so…’ and I’m forever answering ‘Yes Dear…’

Sorry TJ, I can only give you +1 (it should be +100) in regard to the sharing, I don’t care what anyone else says but for me it’s therapeutic thing. I can leave it all floating around in my head, around and around and arou… or I can get it out by using my experiences to assist others on this awful route we are on. Just in having someone say ‘Yea, me too…’ was such a ‘phew’ moment for me because the medicos had me questioning my own sanity with their ‘All fixed’ approach, like I’m questioning myself "Is this really just all in my head…? (NO pun intended)

And that’s about as good as it gets for now. You’ve been here before, you know the routine. Time to do the ‘recovery waltz’, 2 steps forward, 3 steps back, watch for that trip, 2 steps to the side and don’t forget the twist (There’s always a twist that damn near puts you on your backside) and away you go again… …and again. If you’re still standing upright by the end of it, then you’re recovering OK :smile:

Merl from the Modsupport Team

TJ127! Seenie here from ModSupport. How lovely to hear from you, as always.

Congratulations on the new bed! Is that one of those split kings with head and feet adjustments? We bought one of those after my spine surgery, and it’s pure magic! I just wish we’d had it before I went under the knife.

I noticed your new profile pic: that must be the lovely Mrs. TJ127. How nice to see her on your page.

Take very very good care!




Good to hear from you again! How are you?

Yes it is one of those magic beds. I’m still not sleeping well but I’m sleeping much better than if it were a “normal” bed. I lay down at night and the headache spikes within 5 seconds. I push the magic button on the remote, the head of the bed goes up and “ahhhh!!!” my headache goes back down, just that fast.

Now I’m still not sleeping well because of all of the Onyx in my head - even in just the last 1 1/2 weeks - but the bed makes it so much less of a problem.

Yes, that is the lovely Mrs. TJ, also known as “the one who keeps me going” and “the best looking one in the bunch” and well, you get the picture. The one the good Lord blessed me with (36 years ago next month) has been an absolute rock star this year. February and March (and the entire year) have thrown so much at her, let alone working full time taking care of really sick, really small babies at the hospital and condo shopping and negotiating and organizing… We wouldn’t be where we are without her super human capabilities…

Back to the bed - I wish we had one sooner too - except the 120 year old farm house we were in, well, let’s just say the master bedroom wasn’t big enough to fit a king size bed in and the stairs and hallway up to the bedroom weren’t big enough to fit a king size bed in them. So, we couldn’t have sooner…

Keep in touch, it’s always good to hear from you.


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Merl, I think it’s fair to say that you and me and TJ have got what you might call “keepers”. Either we chose much more wisely than we thought all those years ago or we got chosen! (I know which way round it is for me! :rofl:)


Good luck with the exhaustion. We all know it’s quite common for brain ops, so I suspect you’re going to just have to bide your time through that. And you are still very early. Very early.

Apparently, I still smelled of glue or the solvent when I got home, too. I didn’t think I did but my son told me the other day that I smelled awful!

Take your time. Love to both of you,


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Ohh, I know which way round it was for me too, but, in my defence, I did warn her ‘You do realise if you sign that piece of paper it’s a life sentence…’ and each year I remind her ’ You are ‘X’ years into your life sentence, I hope you understand you would have gotten a lesser sentence for murder…’ She could claim coercion or temporary insanity, I think either would be accepted by a court :smile: She tells me she wouldn’t have it any other way, so I doubt it’s a temporary insanity, just straight out crazy.

Merl from the Modsupport Team

Mine, too :rofl:

But then, who am I to judge?