I went running. And it was amazing

Hi all,

It’s been over a year since my journey started, it’s been emotional. I’m not a big talker about my avm. I had emergency surgery to drain an unexpected bleed a few months back. I’m now back with radiotherapy (it’s the safest option for me). Yesterday I was having one of those horrible days where you feel hyper sensitive to everything, my head was buzzing.

I went running.

Before this all started I could run mile after mile. I loved the feeling of being unstoppable. And I would always go running to clear my head.

It was the best thing I could have done. One mile in the endorphins flooded my brain and for the first time in ages I could think straight. I could see me returning to my normal life again. I found the clarity I needed to.

Today I got an ear bashing from my doctor for doing it. But I don’t care.

What I’m trying to say is that if your feeling down or depressed then try and do what made you happy before you had barriers put up. It will make you happy again, and it will show you that you are still you!!

Thank you for posting this discussion and yay for you! I am a huge advocate of physical activity for recovery (with the physician's approval) and I commend you for this posting. I have a daughter who ran competitively starting in 8th grade and she is now 22 running to feel good. Wow, I just reread your last 2 sentences and I agree!

I’m not a runner in fact before the AVM event I was pretty much a slug. But a year after the surgery when my mind was clearer, my emotions were less fragile I started a little garden. It’s not much s

(Stupid fingers) it’s not much of a garden but it gets me out of the house and enjoying the weather. It’s even got me thinking about a beginners yoga class.

I ran after I got the green light from my doctors back in January. It was amazing as well! With all of the restrictions put on us (don’t lift more than 20lbs, don’t run, don’t do more than walk), all opportunities for an infusion of endorphins goes out the window. While we are going through one of the most stressful events of our lives! My coping mechanism for stress used to always be a workout or run and suddenly I was unable to do any of that.

I still have many days throughout my ongoing recovery that I feel badly, but running or doing yoga grounds me in my body and takes my mind off of my troubles!

On a side note, I was also not allowed to have orgasms at that time as it would increase my inter cranial pressure too much. Another endorphin booster. :frowning: hope this wasn’t too far off of PG, but has anyone else been given that restriction?

Hello LesleyF71...Thanks for sharing. I'm glad that you're running again and that the endorphins had helped. That's wonderful and I am happy for you.

I'm not a runner (more of a walker), but before my AVM Rupture, I had written a lot of poetry. After my AVM had ruptured, I went through a five year plague of Writer's Block. I overcame last year, which I am grateful for. :-)

Best of luck to you on your continued journey!

you're lucky to still be able to do what you loved. I cannot use my left hand and need a brace just to stand so any kind of athletics I enjoyed prior are not possible.... You are very lucky and should listen to the doc.

Lesley, fascinating post. There are some similarities and some differences to my story. I had a Cavernous Malformation and had it radiated and then resected and then bombed with drugs to stop the seizures.
Running was a release of stress for me, as well as a way to stay in shape. I had been long distance running since 13, ran in high school and in college on a competitive level, and ran a marathon once. Now I am 50. My first question (even before driving) to my neurosurgeon was, “When can I go running again?” He smirked and said, “Just don’t run a marathon but take it easy.” This was said after I left the hospital after resection in my frontal lobe. I did not want to run at first since my head hurt so much but the desire to run shortly returned. I slogged and trudged for about 1/2 mile and slowly built up to about 3 miles. This was over the course of about 3 years! It has been totally humbling. I will not get back to normal, but I am satisfied with simply being able to run again and get outside.
Another difference for me before surgery was that running actually triggered seizures. I used to have Complex Partial seizures before surgery. On some runs, I actually found myself on different parts of the street without any memory of how I got there. It was NOT a runner’s high.
Since surgery, this has not happened though I get nocturnal seizures from time to time.
One day at a time - one step at a time. Hope you continue to enjoy your runs and that they are amazing.
It would be fascinating to find out from others about their real world experiences with running, exercising, etc … and how they are affected by their AVMs, surgery and medications. Take care, George

Personally, I think what provoked my husband's rupture was that he and I ran that day. On the other hand, I suppose each person has to weigh out in his/her own mind the level of risk you are willing to take in order to feel as normal as possible along side of the doctor's caution. We were unaware of the AVM, so it wasn't something we had the option of deciding. It's been a very rough 9 months and a very long road ahead I am sure for us. I wish we'd have not run that day - though I choose not to live in the what if's or dwell on regrets....but to go forward with today.

I am sorry to sound negative amongst all the positives - just that it's very personal to me, and wish we'd have known and had an opportunity to not be where we are.