I had a Dream

I had a dream....

Dreams to be somebody...

somebody special....

Dreams to complet my studies and be somebody, now I Can´t remeber what I have read. What is the point of reading when you forget it after a wile.

Dreams to be a good rollmodel for my kidz and help and leed them trough their life.....Now i can´t even help them with their homework (5 and 1 grade school)

I used to be a A student at the University.

I can´t be around lot´s of people because my brain can´t take all the information and I get too tired and just stop understanding what people are taking about.... That make´s people think Im stupid or someting.

I lost so many friends... they don´t know how to talk with me.... alltought I´m stil the same person.

I´m blessed with some patient loved ones that stand by my side through this and I love them with all my heart.

I am greatful to be alive, I can move around and I can talk. But sometimes you get tired and need to whine. cognitive problems can be really bad.

It´s hard to accept the new me, the new way to live and it´s really hard to accept that I can´t do he things I could to do before.

I hade a dream...

Monica,...

You are someone very special,...You are Monica, an AVM survivor.

The point of reading is to increase your knowledge, albeit a lil' bit at a time, at the level you can comprehend and remember.

The point of a rollmodel for your children is to help them develop the character, morals and values that you hold dear, and that you want for your children.

Go back to the university, when you are ready.

Yeah,...I shut down after too much information too, so what? I try to take in what I want, need and desire to know, everything else is just mindless chatter I can do without.

Who is to say that they were "true" friends to begin with, or those that wanted to take advantage of you, in one way or another.

Monica,..yes, you are so very blessed, with family, friends and ones that will love and support you, no matter what, where or when.

Yes,...be thankful that you are alive, you can move about, you can talk, and you can give thanks for another day to be alive with your family, friends and loved ones.

Yes,..it is hard to accept the new AVM survivor in us all, the things we can and cannot do anymore, the new way to live and cope with the life trials and tribulations, but ya'know,...we all are AVM survivors, a very special club to belong to, (not all that apply can enter ya know),...*wink*

Monica,...we adapt, modify, improvise, and create a lifestyle that will benefit ourselves and our loved ones too.

As AVM survivors,..."We are,...what We do,...When it counts."

(putting away my cheerleading pom-poms now)

Hi Monica. It sounds to me that you had a few “fair weather friends”. These are people who will drop their relationship with you at the first sign of trouble. Please try not to be so hard on yourself. Being an A student is not a measure of a person’s worth. Trust me …the world is filled with educated derelicts. The fact that you are worried about your children shows me that you are still very much a caring person and therefore worthwhile and SPECIAL!!!

Hello Monica, as Barbara and my dear friend William have said, you ARE very special...you are an AVM Survivor! I also had terrible times with reading, talking, writing, spelling etc, so I do know how you feel. Many days I didn't want to get out of bed, however, like you, I have a wonderful family and also grandchildren to learn to look after when I can.

My so called friends are gone, as is my husband, so I have learned that the most I hold dear are my family, one lady friend and one couple. BUT, I have made some wonderful friends in this site and they are here for me all the time that I need them because that understand and care about each other.

I have learned to talk again, to read, to write and to use the computer again; it has taken time to do these things again and I'm still learning because I want to be as good as I can be for me, my family and friends.

Still have problems understanding what people are saying, large groups, loud noises, but slowly, slowly, it's getting a little better, then a little more better and so on. This WILL happen for you Monica, just please do not be too hard on yourself and belief me, I truly understand about frustration!!

All the very dear Monica, take care of you and keep in touch here as we care about you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.xx

Dearest Monica…I could not have said anything better than the others who replyed. Keep the Faith. There are great friends on this site…keep in touch and we’ll always be there for you!

Thanks all for youre warm words. I know I have to struggle on and don´t give up but somedays it just feels far away. I´m really happy that this site exist were there are people that know what you are going through. Thank you all again and all my love to you