A little background to my question. In the last two weeks, my teenagers have had school for two days. We’ve had it all weather wise - 18 inches of snow in 36 hours, windchills reaching -30 below and worse, freezing rain that turned highways into skating rinks, temperatures going from -11 below to almost 50. The freezing rain was so heavy that i was worried some of our big trees were going to drop branches on some of our cars and totally crush them. It has been one of the most unusual and difficult weather times we’ve had in a long time - like since the blizzard of 1978. Oh and my wife flew to Florida during one of the lulls in the storms and is currently somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico on a cruise ship with 7 of her best friends who are also adoptive moms of kids with hard pasts,
Why am I telling you that? It kind of sets the context to my question. I know a lot of it is being stuck at home with my teenagers who are getting bored with being stuck at home. But I’m feeling more of the "why me? Why do I have to get a headache any time I have to go somewhere? Or why do I…? All of the questions that you wrestle with when you have this trifecta of alphabet nastiness. I feel like it is building up and I know it’s not healthy to push those feelings down, but does anyone have any tips on how to navigate the anger that comes up when you look at what is and compare it to what should have been? And how do you deal with it in a way that won’t worry your kids - because my teenagers were adopted which means they were abandoned and they are very sensitive (sometimes in a mean and obnoxious way) to the fear of that happening again, so having Mom gone on vacation and Dad having a bad day while Mom’s gone would not be good,
I do plan on writing a lot today - because that, quite often, is therapeutic for me. Even when it’s writing that I don’t share with anyone but God and my therapist. (Random aside - did you know that it’s okay to be angry with God?) What would you advise as a way to release the “why” in smaller doses? Doses that don’t worry the kids and/or make my wife feel awful when she gets back because she was on a cruise enjoying time with her friends - who also have adopted kids with emotional scars just like ours do?
Thanks in advance and as always, I’m grateful to have all of you in life (well, at least in my computer).