Am feeling all sortsa empowered today and ran across this fine site in the course of idle reading. I have finally in the last month come to terms with the reality that i DO have an AVM that in fact DOES need to be treated.
I have been the very definition of a bad patient for roughly the last 8yrs or so. Ignored my Neurologist, skipped my blood tests, half-heartedly took my meds, and forgot my appointments. Long work hours, little sleep, and no respect for the needs of the corporeal.
I was 'diagnosed' after a pretty severe T-C episode that left me in the hospital for a while. Status Epilepticus, and I wasn't found for a while. Yuk. Went into complete denial- tossed the Dilantin into the trash on the way out of the hospital, and ignored the issue until the next major blowout seizure. I was pretty beat up by that next one (a week or two of coma time) and i *think* i managed a bit of bleeding. I forget. Status again.
Started taking my Dilantin, hated the side effects and grudgingly switched to Tegretol. Which sucked too, but i was less grouchy. I wasn't 100% on taking my meds- i managed to take 'em most of the time...until yet another blowout seizure.
If you are sensing a theme, well, yeah. Another big Status blowout, so i switched to Lamictal and continued my lack of acceptance. Until now.
A few minor seizures over the last couple years, but I have had two breakthrough seizures since Sep 2010.
Just got out of the hospital last thursday (dec 17, 2010) after going Status AGAIN. Three days in the hospital. Whee.
I met an INCREDIBLE woman in Nov 2010, realized that I wasn't doing myself any favors with my approach to my condition, and that it was irresponsible to treat myself and those around me with such disregard.
It also made me aware that I haven't been emotionally at the top of my game ( i hesitate to use the term 'depression', but thats more or less what it is) for some time. A big 'ol life-changing event will do that for you.
Sooooo here I am. I scheduled an appointment on 01/05/2011, and can't wait to start down whatever path to remediation it takes me!
Wahooo! Can't wait. First off, I want to stabilize the seizures, then address the 'depression', then look at the long term solutions.
*hug* Thanks for being here gang. I suspect I am gonna need some support, and it would be good to share anything i can give....