So being a stroke victim who has had an AVM removed I have no physical impairments- no one would know by looking at me that I have had brain surgery. Unless they spoke to me as my speech has been damaged. I was thinking that as I have no visual impairment that people might think that it couldn't have been that bad or I look fine. When actually I may look fine and appear normal but I am not fine as the experience is very traumatic. What are your experiences of this if you have no visual impairment?
Awhile ago a doctor told me that people who haven't been in the situation won't understand. I am now realising the extent of what that means. As a result have you noticed a slight change in behaviour? As I have decided to let certain people out of my life who I feel have been quite oblivious to the reality of my situation. Have you found that there are people who adapt and are more sympathetic of your situation and then there are people who you are less aware? I feel mean as I have found myself to be sounding quite straight talking and sounding quite emotionless to a friend who was once before, but now is not, and who I feel and told them that they seemed quite un-aware of the reality of everything that has happened to me. They probably didn't mean to be but I would rather be in the company of other friends.I have found some people have adapted more easily. I know not everyone can fully understand but some people I have found to be more helpful than others.
Jessica, I have read many discussions like yours. The transition you are going through is common for those with an invisible illness. Sometimes, after a time people are grateful that they have moved past the former friends and found better ones. It's like the illness is a "truth meter" that allows you to separate true friends from friends you don't need. But at the time, it is upsetting to see relationships change, particularly if family relationships do. Many of our members find their new friends here, and I hope you will, too. All the best to you!
Thanks for the reply :), that is very true and something which I am only just coming to terms with.
I am long past my bleed. I found early on that many people like to look for weaknesses in others. Probably leftover from the herd instinct…cut the weakest member of the herd out. These people were not worth my time. You will learn when to mention your AVM and when not to mention it.
I know how frustrating it is when others just don't get it, nor do they want to. I'm lucky in that my family does understand that I am not fine. There are times though that even they "forget". I swear if my husband asks me "Why are you so tired?" one more time I'm going to slug him!
I think many of us have experienced finding out who our true friends are. It is a painful process but you'll find that those that are stil there and those that you have found since are the ones worth having. Honestly the best friend I have I met through this site. We've never even met face to face.
I'm exactly like you. I speak very frankly and sound emotionless at times. It surprises those who knew me before. I often blurt things out before I've had a chance to think about what I'm saying. That's not to say that I am saying is not true. It just may not be appropriate to say! I find it quite liberating, really.