So I hope you dont mind if I vent here. I am in tears here.. As some of you know I was just diagnosed with a AVM in my lung in March and it has yet to be treated. I had an appointment scheduled to get it embo'd but it got delayed. And well, for the last month i've just been ignoring it all and it just seemed to hit me all again tonight...I mean dont get me wrong there hasnt been 1 day it hasnt crossed my mind but to the point of tears hasnt happened this past month, till tonight.
I mean I can deal with my lung avm, i am scared yes but i know i'll be okay, but its everything else i cant deal with, like the fact that i know they said with lung avms its like a 90% chance i have HHT, a genetic condition which there is a 50/50 chance i passed to by 3 children, ages 11, 9 and 6.. and the fact that i have to get a brain scan because there is a chance i have an avm there too. Me, I can deal with it, but I cant my kids, I am so scared. My oldest just started to get fairly frequent nose bleeds, which he has never really had before, which is a sign of HHT. I know I just need to take it step by step and relax till I know for sure whats going on and deal with it from there. but like I said tonight, I am just feeling so weak, sad and scared.....
I am contacting my closest HHT center tomorrow and hopefully get the ball rolling on that genetic testing and everything else... :*(
Anyway, thank you once again for listening.. I just needed to let off some steam :(
I hope everyone is well,