Feeling a certain way

Although its only been a week since I found out about my AVM. I can't help but to feel alone at the end of the night.

I have great friends of whom I shared the news with and my parents but when I'm by myself I feel like my mind goes in all directions. I tend to shut down(which i know isnt good). Ugh will this feeling pass?

Nayleen, I wish I could say it does but, everyone handles things differently. One thing I am certain of is, it does get easier. When I found out about mine (in 1991), I was very bumbed, depressed, and very fearfull of it for a couple of weeks. Then I came to terms with it. And my fears and my depression all subsided. Ohhhh, I still had some bumbed days every so often but, I refused to dwell on it. It also didn't give me any problems till about 1 1/2 yrs ago either.

I don't think shutting ourselves down for a short period of time is a bad thing. As long as we don't stay in that mode for to long of a time. That is our way of coping and regrouping (so-to-say). Our thoughts and our emotions need time heal, and to adjust. I still get my days where I need to be left alone. My family and my friends still don't understand that. But, i know what i have to do. I call it my "down time". Then I feel better the next day or more.

Nayleen, feel free to email me. I'm no expert but, I am a veteren at this. (((wink)))

Hi Naylee I have known about my avm for 4 yrs and 2 months and I still go through all these feelings!!! It has on most days gotten easier but for me I still feel like I just found out. I wish you the best of luck in everything. we are all here to listen and know how you feel better than any of your family and friends!!! And as Ben said everyone handles it differently so never be afraid to ask for help/ or support from your loved ones! ~Andrea~

Hi Nayleen. There are currently 2735 people on this site and we have all survived this beast called an AVM. You are no longer alone!! I know you are in shock right now. We all were in shock when initially diagnosed. This site is all about support and info. Be sure and utilize us!!!

Hello Nayleen,
I too feel the same way at times and it usually happens at night before I go to bed. My mind starts working overtime when I really just want to sleep. If this is when it happens to you I have a few tricks you can try, first put the TV or radio on very low so there is always background noise (this helps the mind focus on something else rather than our thoughts) also meditation before bed and in the morning. If I can start my day calm or end my day calm then when I get into those states of anxiety it helps me to not completely loose it focusing on the breathing helps me. The feeling will get better but never pass however, always remember “time cures everything” as the time goes by you will feel more and more comfortable. There is always that fear we have knowing we have an AVM but you have to think if we fear everything we wouldn’t do anything in life either. I just try to stay positive sometimes it is difficult I have my days on when they come I really look for the support of family and friends as Andrea said. Hope this helps! Melissa

Aww thanks guys..i'll def try the meditation and hopfully writing in my journal will help. For some reason today I felt so sick...throwing up, blurred vision...I started to panic a little but it went away.

I'm counting my blessing bc i never had a bleed or seizure and i hope i never have to go through that. I must say you guys are really strong!! I hope to feel that way soon!!

Thanks for the advice and listening :)

Nayleen, I was diagnosed w my AVM in 1985 and lived a productive life, played sports and just had to take medicine daily and doctors at Duke were able to treat my AVM last year. You are at the beginning of this journey so pace yourself with your inner thoughts. Try to stay as positive as you can. It really depends on where your AVM is located, the size, how it is impacting the blood flow in your brain,etc. Hopefully you can work with a Neurosurgeon to come up with a good plan for your AVM. I wish you luck!

Nayleen. What others have said about meditating and journaling does help. I've been meditating for over 30 yrs. and keeping a journal for many years now.

There are many ways to meditate, you just need to find one that works for you. It's not hard at all and is very enjoyable and relaxing.

I found out about my AVM 2 years ago and everytime I read something on it, I am so down and get really sad like omg it could blow anytime. I am in fear of losing my legs especially after sitting a while and they go numb. Numbness goes down by my lower butt. I have 2 more MRI’S tomorrow morning. It’s my yearly check up. However I am 6 months late.