Fear of being by yourself?

In July of 2012 I suffered a bleed due to a ruptured aneurysm while I was at home alone and working (I work from home). It started with a strange feeling, sort of like being dizzy and then progressed to a headache so horrible it felt like a combination of my head exploding and being pressed in a vice. I ended up getting physically ill and knew something was wrong so I called 911. Over the course of 2 weeks in the hospital they discovered that I did in fact have a bleed that came from an aneurysm that is unrelated to this AVM that they have discovered in my right parietal lobe. The aneurysm was fixed through surgery and is considered to be obliterated and I thankfully did not suffer from any neurological damage as the aneurysm bled into my right cerebral ventrical and not onto any brain matter or neurons.

I was releasedc from the hospital and 3 weeks later was given the go ahead to return to work. I was very excited about my return to work but after the first few days I started to feel very uneasy being at home alone all day long. This is the first time in my life that I have disliked being home alone. I have been seeing a counselor and am going to accupuncture to deal with what I am calling "PTSD". I know that time heals all wounds and I have noticed that after 5 and a half months from the date of my bleed I am becoming more and more comfortable being at home alone.

Has anyone delt with this sort of issue after having a bleed or after having an AVM diagnosis? I am lucky that I am able to go into an office to work if I want to but that sort of negates working from home. If so, how have you delt with this fear of being alone?

I have that fear still and my bleed was 8 years ago. I think I’m just being ridiculous sometimes but just knowing the AVM is there makes me uneasy. I feel like every symptom is something. My doctor has reassured me chances are not likely of having another bleed but…I always have a tiny bit of doubt.
If your not symptomatic and the doctors are on it I wouldn’t worry cause they know what they are doing. Its scary I know but enjoy life!

Hi Lindsay,

I had my AVM bleed on me while at home alone while my wife was at work. I know the feeling exactly and as i type this i am home alone with time off and stll get anxious about it a lot.

My bleed was in January 2011 and near 2 years later im still anxious about it when home alone. I think you need to keep your mind occupied and strong that there is nothing wrong. I sometimes will go out in busy places such as shopping malls to feel better instead of being home alone.

Stay strong, positive & God bless you .....you are not alone.

I feel your pain also...its hard to overlook these thoughts i guess.

God bless

Great attitude Adrian:-)

Hi Lindsay,

I lived alone most of my adult life. I have had insistences where my friends have found me unconscious in my house from a gran-mal seizure. And... they have come to check on me when I don't answer my phones (including my cell) because I'm having a migraine. Despite my health problems, I still prefer to live alone. Living alone was one thing I have never been afraid of.
I credit it to my faith. Even though I may be alone - I feel I never really am "alone". I'm one of those people that when I'm not feeling well, I would rather be by myself. I don't rest well if someone is in my house with me. Even if it's my best friend. But, that's just me. :)


Thank you all for your replies. It does make me feel better to know that I am not alone in feeling this way. I guess if the docs found out that I just had an aneurysm and they fixed that I probably wouldn't be on edge as much as I am now because I have an active AVM that the docs feel isn't necessary to treat (I am asymptomatic and they feel that the chances of a bleed is about 1% per year).

The funny thing is, I travel for work and am in hotel rooms by myself all the time and I don't mind that. I just don't like being in my house where it all happened by myself.

I wish that I could go back to being the same carefree girl I was before all this happened with no fears and not a care in the world. But it is hard to shake the trauma of what I went through and just get back to life as normal.

I work from home and my boyfriend owns a bike shop. Since my surgery in Feb 2012, I've had 3 grand mal seizures. He refuses to leave me home alone. So every morning, I pack up my computer and take the ride to his business everyday. Tired, dragging my feet, wishing I can sleep between shifts, we argue, we fight everyday. All but 2 of my seizures happened at his shop. I dread what could have happened if I had these at home, alone. No matter how angry I get at my boyfriend, he is doing this only because he loves me. I long to be home again working from home though. And I know there are precautions we can take for me to stay at home. sigh...