Entry #4

I’m slowly being forced to let go of my worries with my paralysis. I can’t really say I don’t care anymore, but I just don’t do my face exercises anymore. I’m everyone who reads this right now understands in some way what doing exercises feel like; everyday, two times a day, and not getting any results. Just think, maybe your trying to lose weight before the summer comes or something and the weight just stays there no matter how many times a day you do your exercises, so you give up right? I mean whats the point of wasting your time when you don’t get anything out of it you want. Well I’m kind of like that in a way. I’m just waiting for the nerves to wake up or just keep waiting until I know for sure their not coming back. I just want to stop wasting my time and do something I actually want to do … like t.v or the computer … or a book … or maybe just mourn over my life I’m giving up; giving away; letting go. Now I’m not talking about suicide so don’t get you under wear in a knot. I just would rather waist life indoors rather then feel stupid trying to relive my life since the accident and feel stupid like “what is she doing out in public having fun??” “Go back in the house.” I hate my bossy mind sometimes. But yeah … until next time, chao.

I hope you don’t give up! You should go out and live life! Yes there are a lot of people who don’t understand what you have and continue to go through and will judge you, but who cares! Those are not the people who love you or matter to you. My favorite woman in history is Eleanor Roosevelt and find a lot of her quotes are truly words to live by. A few I look to when life seems unlivable are
The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do