Dr. Jim

Before my AVM and cerebral bleed, I worked for a medical research group, and I
had worked there for all my adult life. I did not have many co-workers that
did the same job I did, and so not many close friends. Dr. Jim was one of those
that I worked for although he also did not have many close friends there. He was a
medical physician who came into my office on occasion and we talked and became
friends even though I was no expert in medical science like he was. But
we had other hobbies and interests in common which I generally knew more
about than he did. In time we visited and chatted together sometimes for hours a day. We were also both big computer gamers, and in that field he was ahead of me.
Most doctors that I have worked for were snobs as far their co-workers were
concerned, but not Jim and he was the only doctor that I was ever on
a first name basis with.

When I had my AVM bleed, and operation for same...I did return to work part time
at first and Jim once again would come in to talk to me, and he asked me
about my illness. He was not a neuro-surgeon like I had been helped by, but
he knew something about it. I was then a shattered person, as many of you will
understand, but he understood and was one of the first to accept me for what
I was.I was sorry when I retired that I could not be there to talk to him
further, but he was a wonderful friend while I worked there, and a person
who made my mind work seemingly in overdrive in order to keep up with
him in conversation.

When we recover from something like an AVM bleed we need all of our friends
and relatives to remain close to us so we can do the near impossible...recover
back to be close again to the way we once were.

Hi John, For me it took a while for myself to realise that I had changed from my bleed. I thought I was the same person but just had to be a little more careful with a head injury etc ... but my wife mentioned to me about personality changes and as I have grown and time has past I see the change in me and for me its not a good change but I'm living with it and not letting this change rule my life I'm dealing with the change "rolling with the punches" so to speak :) , I am grateful that I have my wife and kids and that they understand that Daddy has headaches and its me that needs time outs sometimes , But this just makes me want to give back more to them. your stories as I've said in the past always inspire me and I admire your strength and positivity. Take care my friend.

Martin

Thank you, Martin,

You are a very positive influence to us all.
Thank you.

I understand what you are saying. Families understanding is a HUGE help.

Yes, Zac S.

I read an account once written by a survivor who was improving little by little,
but still had major deficits. His best friend got to where he no longer came around to
see his friend because he could not stomach being around him in his condition.
Sad, they will need each other.

John

Amen!! Glad he was there for you!

My wife, Pat, was the friend who helped carry me through all the changes. It’s been 27 years, we’ve had three kids, four dogs, two cats, lost three brothers, and a lot more. Through it all, I slowly realize more and more of how I’ve changed. Sometimes, I get in arguments with her and it doesn’t help that she is usually correct.



She isn’t nice to let me use this all as a excuse and makes me keep working. I’m amazed at the things she’s gotten me to do. I’ve been a chemist working for a large corporation for 30 years. Dealing with all these people and rules and bosses and changes has been difficult. I often come home to talk to her to help me figure out how to deal with the people.

She has let me work out how to handle all the changes that happened before and after surgery. My temper is not as controlled as it should be. Today, I had an IPad problem and stomped out of the room. She just let me cool off and didn’t mention it when I finally came back.



Having a person like her has been a blessing compare to the AVM.

Armand,
Sounds like you do have an outstanding friend, and you appreciate her also!
I am so happy for you!
John