I thought that if I have to go through all this I should make it worth something. Tell people about it. Share my story. Help other people. I learned tonight that it may be at the expense of my son and his feelings for me. He was very open with me tonight. He feels that I am obsessed with AVM and doesn't understand why I can't just live normally. He feels that I had gamma and it's going away. I am glad he has been blissfully unaware of the dangers. And even after explaining I think he thinks it won't happen to me so why worry about it. I don't know how to feel about this. To be further hurting the person I love the most because I can't just get over it. I would love to. I would love for it to be gone. I would love to live like nothing would ever happen but the thought of anything further happening and me not being with my son keeps me cautious. It makes me consider every decision. I am so lost and alone right now. I don't know what the right thing to do is. Will pretending it doesn't exist make him better or will he eventually see and understand why I am doing what I am doing and that it has never been a choice for me to make?