I love the holiday season, don’t get me wrong. But I hate that is also brings with all the excitement tons of stress. I can’t handle stress so it sometimes makes the season suck. Excuse my language there. Cooking for the family and the shopping and the wrapping ugh. I love that I’m here and can do all this stuff. But I hate that I end up in bed in pain with headaches and can’t fully enjoy this time of year, as I could pre-avm life. I hate having to depend on pain medicine to get through this. Now isn’t so bad its when it gets close to thanksgiving and all the baking and cooking start. Oh and of course then there is the snow. Shoveling b/c my husband shouldn’t have to work all day then spend an hour or more snow blowing while I’m sitting there in the warm house. If i go out to help he gets mad b/c I shouldn’t be lugging that big thing around and shouldn’t be bending over with a shovel full of heavy snow. Man I can’t wait till March when this is all just about over! Sorry I just needed to vent to the people who understand this the most. Thanks for listening 
Andrea
Vent all you want Andrea! We understand! I get frustrated because this has always been my favorite time of year, but now I either get too too tired or get painful headaches that prevent me from doing all the things I used to do.
Connie
Hi Andrea,
I offer this as a friendly suggestion and hope that some of what I suggest can assist you. In no way am I suggesting that you have to do this, just some ideas, ok?
I don’t have an AVM (wife did), but I’m now 59 and I can’t do what I used to do at 29. I used to love to shovel our snow, and did the neighbors as well. I’ve changed and know my limitations now. Chari used to be able to cook, clean, manage kids, work, and have a little time left over for us. Now, when she gets tired, she has to rest. Before she retired, we hired a person to help clean the house. We adjusted our schedules to better fit what we could deal with. Rather than go to something that would be fun, but we were too exhausted, we didn’t go. Or we’d go and leave early.
Your AVM has changed what you used to do and enjoy as well. Life is way too short to not be able to enjoy friends and family, especially if some changes in how you do it can enhance your life to where you can ENJOY the season more.
Your note above is very articulate; I suggest you write a nice letter to all those you will see over the holidays, listing your concerns, and provide some suggestions on how your guests can help you to enjoy the season more.
Cooking–Limit it to what you can enjoy. Everybody brings stuff or you cater it or you scale back the food. (Most of us could do with less food–at least I should.)
Snow–Try to find someone to do it for you and your husband. Or buy a tractor. Or hire a service.
Resting–let your guests know that while you love being around them, you have to have your rest time in order to avoid sickness and pain. Give yourself permission to excuse yourself to rest.
If your family/friends can’t honor this, I’d consider some new traditions for Christmas. You and your family going away for a quiet Christmas, or a cruise, or something where you can enjoy it.
I wish you well.
Ron, KS
I hear ya! My one and (hopefully) only grand mal seizure took place at the end of the day on Christmas Day, 2005. I have listed all of the details on this site on more than one occasion, so I won’t bother outlining everything again, but I completely agree that the holiday season can be a HUGE source of stress. Try not to let it get to you, and if it does, don’t try to hold it all inside.
Hello Andrea,
Consider what Ron recommendent.
You have a nice name, Andre is the name of my oldest son.
I know how you feel…but thiese holidays we are just going to be very quiet, me, my husband and four kids. My life know has a different approach and my advice to you…do what you can with what you have available…if you have a headache, like I get, I realized I have to do what’s best for me as it ripples down… tell those you love who should understand, you cannot do it all…they should undrstand. Regarding chores… ask for help, once again, my biggest problem, but this health scene has reinforced humility…don’t rush time away, enjoy it, the winter is beautiful although it has its challenges weather wise… So if you made a gazillion cookies, only make a few dozen at a time, truly live in the moment… You can always vent sometimes myself included we need to be reminded we are lucky. Again, do what you can, even if its not what you used to do. I just lost my dad in April so its especially hard and I “wish” it all away but for my kids, I can’t…I get frustrated and sad too TRUST ME, but vent to us here as we all understand…not many people do…I hear, oh you have another headache, a, yeah I do and so what! Its part of me now so if you love me, love those headaches with me!!! Vent all you want loud and clear!!! Good for the soul!!! xoxo Mare
Hey, Mare…only you would consider a holiday with four children quiet! lol
Mare said:
I know how you feel…but thiese holidays we are just going to be very quiet, me, my husband and four kids. My life know has a different approach and my advice to you…do what you can with what you have available…if you have a headache, like I get, I realized I have to do what’s best for me as it ripples down… tell those you love who should understand, you cannot do it all…they should undrstand. Regarding chores… ask for help, once again, my biggest problem, but this health scene has reinforced humility…don’t rush time away, enjoy it, the winter is beautiful although it has its challenges weather wise… So if you made a gazillion cookies, only make a few dozen at a time, truly live in the moment… You can always vent sometimes myself included we need to be reminded we are lucky. Again, do what you can, even if its not what you used to do. I just lost my dad in April so its especially hard and I “wish” it all away but for my kids, I can’t…I get frustrated and sad too TRUST ME, but vent to us here as we all understand…not many people do…I hear, oh you have another headache, a, yeah I do and so what! Its part of me now so if you love me, love those headaches with me!!! Vent all you want loud and clear!!! Good for the soul!!! xoxo Mare
Thank you to all who left comments! Maybe this year I will actually remember that i have limits and won’t let myself go crazy and everything like i have done in the past. Again thanks for listening to me vent i love this site and all the members on here!!! Happy thanksgiving I know I’m a little early much love and wishes Andrea!