Changes in personality & the anger that comes with it

Hello everyone m. I am having difficulty with how much my personality has changed since my surgery. I don’t know if the personality change is due directly to my surgery or a result of my chronic pain. I was lucky, my AVM and AVF were both found before they ruptured but not before they damaged the nerves inside my spine . My avm was in mycervical spine a little below my brain stem . I really due consider myself lucky compared to so many of you, but I miss who I was and I want her back. It is like I see the difference in myself and I remember the old me but I just can’t seem to get her back. I used to be extremely outgoing and talkative but now it seems the little that I do talk makes people feel as though I am being sarcastic or mean. I Ali was ne’er much if a crier but feel like I cry all the rime now. I am not working due to the pain and due to some stomach problems as well. The more thati see I see the difference in myself the more depressed that I get. Does anyone have any advice on how I can get a grip on myself before I drive away everyone in my life including my husband.

So let’s think what issues we have in front of us here. There is direct injury to the brain, emotional stress of traumatic life event,and ongoing pain issues. All of those things can cause personality changes. Or a combination of. I admit to some degree of this my self but I’m not sure if structural damage caused any of it, because I don’t have that knowledge . I was treated for an avm with embolization and radio surgery and part of my brain is left damaged.

But for sure the other 2. The ordeal made me upset “why , this is not fair” and the chronic pain obviously doesn’t help you be pleasant :wink: .ohhh one other reason you may be acting different or difficult is due to medicines side effects, certain drugs, seizure meds I know of, cause problems like that.

Thank both of you! I am actually going to the doctor tomorrow. See I have a constant headache but it has been really intense for the last 5 days, I couldn’t even really enjoy wrapping Christmas presents with my son I just ended up getting overheated and getting mad at my cat. That is another problem that I have developed, I become extremely hot after the smallest physical activity when I used to be the person in the room who was always cold. I don’t understand that either. I am seeing one of my old doctors right now and they have changed my medicine around some mainly to insurance coverage but I won’t get into that but I will say that I think it is just wonderful that an insurance company would rather have a patient pn a highly addictive medication like OxyContin or morphine than a medication that the patient has been on before that worked! I just get so sick and tired of being in pain and feeling like I am not a good mother or wife that I just don’t know what to do. I guess the old me is just gone and I just need to get used to that and be hopeful that my husband and son can accept it.

Maybe instead of focusing on what you lost, you could try to find things you gained. I found that I have lost A LOT of myself and not just my left side. I used to love to read fiction, now I can't stand it and often find myself heavily involved in a current events or political article. I used to love to draw and sketch, paint and be creative; now there is just nothing in that area but I've taken to cooking for some strange reason. I also seem to be better at cooking with one hand than when I had two haha. Those are just a few things and it took about 6 months for me to notice those things and another 6 to use them to help me move beyond my losses. I'm still not over those losses, not sure I'll ever stop missing myself but I'm growing attached to the new me. ...she's kind of interesting and somehow a little more intellegent than the lady I left behind almost 4 years ago :/

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